According to statistics, the majority of couples who do not have the same timing and vital biorhythms fall.Is it really so hard to adjust to each other, and there is a way to keep the relationship when the husband owl, bird and his wife, or vice versa?Psychologists say that this method is.
1. Owls and larks: relationships under threat
2. Biorhythm - Myth or Reality?
3. Owl bird: is it possible to alter biorhythms?
4. Owl and bird: psychology.How to get along when biorhythms are not the same?
• owls and larks: relationships at risk
typical situation - the husband owl, bird wife (or vice versa).Since the couple live together, life biorhythms are different, they are faced with big problems.They are rarely seen, rarely communicate, start to drift apart.The fact is that when a husband goes to bed, my wife is already looking tenth dream.In the morning everything is exactly the opposite, when the wife of "no light, no dawn" runs off to work or school, her husband has "dreams in the arms of Morpheus."When coming weekend all repeats again, the only difference is that now the husband will not run, and unceremoniously rattles pans in the kitchen ...
In the first couple months of life this early bird is trying to wake up at dawn, his unrestrained sluggard, accompanying this proverb frompeople: "The early bird catches the worm feeds".Spouse snarls: "The early bird catches the worm does not mind!".Wife wonders how it is possible to live in a chart every time to wander up to 3 nights in the house and then sleep until noon.My husband crazy, saying that he did not go to bed early may so accustomed to live.Over the years, the situation escalates.Why did they fail to agree?
• owls and larks: biorhythms - Myth or Reality?
All people are divided in accordance with the biorhythms of life - there owls and larks .There is also a more flexible intermediate type, the so-called doves or aritmiki - it makes no difference, they adjust to any schedule could.But when the husband wife owl bird - there is nothing to worry about.
biological clock larks do not allow them to sit up late at night, early awakening for them - a prerequisite of good health.Owls, by contrast, have difficulty sleeping, if forced to go to bed early and wake up early for them at all tragedy.The body of an owl is designed so that the peak of her performance falls on the evening and night time, when the bird goes to sleep.
If the owl is forced to get up early, her partner need to be prepared for eternal discontent morning, grouchy, and even displays of anger.Therefore, normal chat does not work, despite all the efforts of a lark.As fail to make a lark to watch the film until after midnight - he just fell asleep.Here you have a family idyll ...
It is believed that human belonging to a particular "bird" type is determined long before the birth, goes from his parents inherited.But there are many doctors who do not agree with this statement - they believe that the whole thing only in habit.The debate on "owl bird biorhythms of life" being a long time, but the fact that change your biorhythms, their biological clock is extremely difficult to recognize both sides.Sometimes a man just has to adapt to the social demands (for example, study, work, or having a baby) and his well-being and health is directly dependent on the flexibility of the nervous system.
• Owl Lark: CAN remake biorhythms?
most common mistake newlyweds - is striving to remake his soul mate.Especially diligent in their endeavors moralizing usually are "larks".It just so happened that there are more accepted norm and is an early morning rise, but because they are trying to dictate the rules in the family: to get up early in the morning and go to bed in the evening.And no matter lark, that partner will toss and turn at midnight from side to side, and counting sheep, unable to "time" to sleep.
When the bird and owl trying to twist their love nest, trying to live according to a single plan, they have the greatest inconvenience.For a pair of owl bird it is now a source of family conflict.Worst of all, when the couple quarrel on this issue, giving the "bird" is particularly moral tone.Lark accuses partner owl that he was "an avid couch potato," then know that sleep until noon.Owl in debt does not remain neither sit together at a party or a late night movie to see or make love.From here something unpleasant and statistics of family relationships: couples, where one "bird" and the second "night owl" often complain of loneliness and quarreling, sometimes making love.
Larks owls are often accused of laziness, but in the meantime, scientists from the University of Salt Lake City (United States, Utah) in 2001 was discovered the gene of human DNA, codenamed hPer2, which is responsible for the syndrome difficult awakening and a long sleepinherent "owls."This discovery gave laziness "owls" scientific explanation, it became clear why the morning owl long swing and have to resort to various stimuli, such as a few cups of coffee and cigarettes.
This discovery makes treated with respect to the "owl" biorhythms.It is scientifically proven that in no case should not retrain "owls" in the "larks", provoking in them a sense of guilt.Doing so can lead to serious nervous breakdowns, depression, severe insomnia and illness.Each person should be able to sleep as much as the body needs to be healthy.
When people fall in love and get married, they do not look at biorhythms.But the differences in the biological chart can destroy even the strongest relationship.And what?Efforts directed to the resistance of its own instinctual nature, often harm the body.Such resistance can disrupt the entire nervous system, and all the health in general.Therefore recriminations - is not an option in this situation.None of the partners is not guilty, that was born that way, that unlike the other.Therefore, the only way - to seek a compromise.
psychophysiologists Some argue that a person's internal clock can be transferred without causing damage to health and not experiencing significant discomfort.As the practical psychology - it is indeed possible.But, the truth, correct biorhythms in any direction can be no more than half an hour.Perhaps this is a good way in your case, and that will be enough?
• owl and early bird: How to get along together if biorhythms clash?
Psychologists say in one voice that the marriage in this situation is quite viable, but still can give a head start, "representatives of the same bird."The main thing - to find a compromise that will help to build a respectful and harmonious relationship in the family.How to do it?
- What not to do a lark, and the owl, to save the marriage.
- 1. Under no circumstances will the stigma and ridicule life partner just because it does not correspond to your presentation and habits.
- 2. Never quarrel and not to find out before bedtime relations with the "lark" - is able to deprive him of a normal overnight rest.
- 3. Do not disturb "owl" awake, do not ask questions, do not attempt to discuss the plans.Give her time to get over it, or run the risk of running into a conflict - your activity is now annoying "owl."
- compromise on.
- Try to help each other, "owl" certainly be delighted cup of coffee served with the morning in bed, and exhausted by the end of the day, "early bird" and enjoy the pleasant evening care - feed the "poor fellow" dinner and help with the dishes.
- Organize family life so that the "bird" in the evening, and "owl" in the morning could sleep.Dedicate yourself time when your favorite half asleep, spend the time to good use.Hangs on the forums, visit a beautician or fitness, see talk shows and soap operas that your partner can not stand.In life, we can so little time to devote itself favorite, and you have such a great opportunity!So do not miss these precious moments, especially on the stimulation and experience, and use it for all 100!
- Housing issue could seriously complicate family relationships.Studio apartment is not conducive to heat people's relations with different biorhythms.Not every "lark" in the morning ready to tiptoe, paint or embroider a cross.And not all "owl" can be made to read a book in the evening, when she is the surge of strength and energy.Therefore, it is important to plan ahead spouses their case: that would make an "owl" in the evening, and "lark" in the morning to ensure a normal sleep the second half.
- not rattle pans in the morning if your favorite "owl" - prepare everything for breakfast the night before.By the way, the real "owl" will not force to eat in the morning - her piece in the throat does not climb.So do not try in vain, fumbling at the plate, hoping to please a loved one, or to wake up breakfast appetizing aroma.And especially, do not try to be offended when your efforts will meet discontented expression spouse.Think about breakfast without disgust he could only an hour or two.Let the "owl" is to spend time with a cup of coffee, locked in the bathroom - better than annoyed watching him Troublous expression.
- If you allow the living conditions, psychologists recommend to share an apartment (house) on a clear zone of active wakefulness and sleep.These zones should not overlap each other:
- 1. - Take your TV and computer out of the bedroom.
- 2. - Replace the upper lighting a lamp shade or matte.This will "lark" sleep when the "owl" reads.
- 3. - While watching TV, use headphones.
In general, to do this is not difficult if you wish.Even in a small apartment really to organize the space so that the partner could sleep.Rid yourself of your morning bustle supruga- "lark" in search of the necessary things - prudently fold things such as keys, watches, mobile phone and so on in a dedicated locker that, for example, in the hallway.
- Remember, the most important component must be mutual respect for the spouses to the needs and habits of each other.If the "owl" should sleep till noon - just deliver it to her pleasure.If the "early bird" loves to get up early - great to wake up, "owl" partner time to redo a lot to do, and you will have precious time to socialize.Well, if "early bird" something did not, his partner will be able to finish the rest of the case in the evening, after the "early bird" zasopit peacefully in bed.
- Organize total time
attempts to force each other to alter anything but sleep deprivation and strife will not do.But there are circumstances when relearn yet necessary - for example, the birth of a child.Should I do it actually - you decide, after much more convenient if the spouses will replace each other in caring for the baby.
But if such a need is still there, we have already found that the biological clock can be shifted without any consequences for half an hour in one direction or another.The main thing - no violence, everything must happen gradually and voluntarily.If the "early bird" every day will go to bed later than usual for 15-20 minutes, and "owl" for 15-20 minutes before gradually joint pastime duration can be increased, and even align.Pushing for a half hour each biorhythms, you get the total time 3:00!
If, however, changes bad for the condition and state of health - do not continue.It is better to try to increase the so-called intensity of joint cooperation.Try to plan communication (from the business discussions, ending sex) at a time when both of you are energetic enough.
In the process of living together, as a rule, people adapt over time to each other.Of course, this does not happen in one day, but in most cases, pretty soon the husband and wife begin to live approximately the same rhythm.Loving each other people, be sure to find time to be alone.And if you do not care about each other, they are bound to quarrel, even if asleep, and wake up at the same moment - they sure there are plenty of other reasons for the differences.
- Happy Together.
Use the maximum coinciding while awake, to participate in group activities.
Cherish every moment, held together.Life is very short, do not waste it on recriminations and quarrels.Have mercy on each other, "owl" are the most vulnerable in the morning and "larks" - in the evening.Find common ground, both interesting lesson: go bowling or to the theater, watch movies together, dream together, communicate heart to heart.Shared interests will help strengthen your marriage, get to know each other and to love more.
often speak to each other nice sweet words, Kiss, make love - it does not have to wait for the night, because it will come to you in different ways.
With the baby in the family, different biorhythms parents play in your favor."Skylark" would get up early, and pay little one time in the morning, without disturbing the sleeping lover, and "owl" will be able to devote the evening and early night.If you're a team - any problems you will be on the shoulder.
According to psychologists, a pair of "lark-owl" who have achieved harmony and understanding, are the most durable and successful.They have learned to understand each other, to make concessions and to be tolerant, they can strategize a happy life together.The couple with the same biorhythms such tests deprived and often break down, do not stand the test of the strength of the social and domestic turmoil.We know a lot of savvy couples "owl-bird" who have learned not to waste precious time in petty squabbles.They know how to work together to solve their problems better than "the same."
And a little more about what biorhythms and biological clock: