Perhaps you have often wondered how you will prepare your child for adult life, and maybe you harass a question of how to prepare it to the nest.Or maybe just your pipsqueak said: "Mummy, where do babies come from?" And you froze in confusion, not knowing how to respond to such a difficult question, how to behave.So what should be the sexual education of children and at what age it should start?
I hope no one will need to argue that sex education should be carried out in the family children.But how to do it?After all possible options as to clarify the child or that question a lot, but you need to choose one, and some of them are really valid?
If parents know the principles of sex education, the fine and will be able to independently find solutions in difficult teaching situations.After all, how clear and easy to understand parents will be able to explain to her daughter or son various life phenomena related to gender relations will depend on many things: the formation of sexual attitudes, understanding their responsibilities, understanding the need to manage themselves, their behavior and desires.In fact, the ability of the parents to give the child sex education will depend on his good fortune in his future personal life.
Why sex education of children in the family is more important?
pays you your attention to the education of the relationship between the sexes?What are the challenges put in front of him, giving the child sex education?What is pursuing, bringing up a daughter or a son?The only true issue in these answers is this: sex education for children is essential for their full development and happiness.And who, besides loving parents will be better able to cope with this difficult task?Certainly not the street and yard punks!
Every parent probably wants that little girl has grown soft, sensitive, caring woman who loves her children.Son to become a real support for the mother and father, for his own family grew courageous, purposeful and strong.All of this is sexual education, but rather the results of its correctness.
Mastering the child's own gender role, its nature, the development of his sexuality depends in many respects on the family, which is able to harmoniously combine the maximum social and biological beginning of the personality of the future man or woman.
At what age should start sex education?
When parents start to think about how to add up their child relationship with the opposite sex?This often happens when the kids have become teenagers.And it's the most common mistake.
turns out that the preschool and school toddlers are most favorable for the development of communication skills of boys and girls, for the most part, remain out of our attention.Moreover, there is even an opinion that parents should not be specifically to attract the attention of preschool children to sex education.This, they say, the period of sexual development is asexual - when sex hormones on the behavior and development of the body of the child is not affected.However, the sexual education of children of preschool age lays the foundation of all moral attitudes in gender relations, the psychological characteristics of men and women of the future, creates important prerequisites for an adequate identification of child sexual role.
daily training of future women and men to fulfill their roles in marriage, fatherhood and motherhood, the successful development of which is determined largely by private human happiness - is the main goal pursued by the sex education of children of preschool age.
human ability to respond socially accepted patterns of sexual behavior, the ability to create stable relationships, favorable relations with family and friends - all this in no way is an innate human abilities.
Principles of sex education
Who of adults do not ever be ashamed of "inconvenient" questions and "arrogant reasoning" of their own children?"I did not see anything that the children lying on the cabbage patch," - says a message on the four-year Mariska mum about the place of his birth.The five-year Danilka asked the pope why he ceased to be friends with Luda, seriously answers, "She kisses worse than Mary."
Your answers to these difficult questions kids, and much more complex problems that occur with age is determined in many respects, a daughter or a son to love life in the future.Therefore, now it is the sexual education of children of preschool age more important than ever, and even more important that it is correct.
Boy - Junior high school student, and her mother waiting for the queue to the doctor, curiously looks at how close young mummy shroud tiny daughter, changing her diaper.Catching sight of her son in the direction of the genitals girl, my mother recalls and says irritably, "Where are you looking?Now, get away from her! ".But the situation is different: "Come on, look at the little girl.See what her delicate heels, what little fingers.What she still helpless (see mokrenkaya lies).When you were so small, you also had a pretty baby. "Two such different motherboards tactics such disparate sex education for boys, no doubt, and the fruit will bring a completely different, and in the first case - is not positive.
Whether you like it or not, and to protect the child from sex education is impossible.If you do not do sex education preschoolers his prerogative, the child himself to learn everything, but that's how, and with what consequences - the big question.If parents do not fully satisfy the educational interests of the child, lack of family information will certainly be supplemented street.
Sex education of preschool children: the basic rules
The main thing that is required of the parents in the case of "uncomfortable" issues or situations - this is natural behavior, willingness to respond comprehensively to all, the ability to explain everything without fear or shame.
- main mistakes sex education
What emotions did you call "inconvenient" children's questions?What's in this moment on your face?Expressive frustration, confusion, and embarrassment?Do not allow it!Kids - very good psychologists, they necessarily be passed parental insecurity and a sense of modesty, mother or father.Children do not see absolutely no connection between the erotic and the birth of children, it is we adults could not help bring to an innocent child cognitive interest in our adult erotic experience.The kids have not seen differences in the question: "How to distinguish edible from inedible mushrooms?" And "How can I tell the girls from the boys?", But the difference in reactions that give mothers and fathers on these issues notice instantly.As a result, kids are starting to allocate a separate special range of issues, in their view, something dirty and indecent.
Blunders are mainly from low sexual culture of parents: "Look !?You're already interested in this?Oh, grow up quickly, go away! ", Or" Hee-hee, go better than my mother (my grandmother) ask. "In particular, often make mistakes moms and dads with total viewing of movies and television programs, where there are erotic scenes.Trying to close the eyes of a child, to distract him, to drive out of the room or laugh, watching the surprise child from what he saw, you only exacerbates the problem.Sex education of preschool children will only suffer.The kid may decide that the love, affection, women and men, there is something indecent.At best, it simply will not ask their questions to you, and find them in a circle of peers furtively.At worst, your reaction might affect his psychological sex education, rejection of a personal relationship with the opposite sex, or even the appearance of sexual preference for the same sex.
- How to respond to the "inconvenient" questions?
Regardless of the age of the child, four, seven or fifteen years, it, your answers must be truthful in content, objective and scientific.
psychological distress in parents names often cause genital organs.Community children and parents, as a rule, in the family being childish language.But when the child grows up, children's language often superseded terms bytuyuschimi in street use.Adopted in the family, affectionate names, the child is no longer satisfied.Therefore, there is a rapid assimilation of the street, "adult" terms.Therefore, in the primary school age is to acquaint the child with academic medical name for male and female genitalia - even if he teaches the street, not his street.
tales about storks purchase in the store, appears in the cabbage, and other options, of course, distract the child from the secret for him aspects of human existence, and also hinder the development of normal sexual consciousness.Sooner or later all will certainly face a fictitious reality, to refine and supplement the street "education".Along with this may come disappointment and mistrust of children to parents, deceivers, or even suspicious squeamish attitude toward the native.
Try early childhood form the daughter or son's understanding of the law of procreation, which necessarily obeys all, without exception, living in the world.If you find it difficult to correctly formulate the topic, just let the child read educational books, the benefit is now to find a child - not a problem.
Sex education for boys and sex education to girls at a young age a little different, because the children usually are interested in the same thing.Responses in both cases should be accessible to the understanding of children, just so they will not cause further problems.It is not necessary to go into detail, looking ahead for three years in their explanations, or to turn to the report of the short answer.For example, you can tell a story from the practice of a well-known children's therapist Levy in response to the most common question for a seven-year old son, "Where do babies come from?" Mom read him this lecture.This turned out the light, lit a candle and started the story in a pathetic tone about the importance of the mission of men and women.Such presentation of information, as a result caused a real shock at the boy, and the need for psychiatric help.Remember, your child should be given only those answers that he is interested in a particular point, saying only that he asks.Concisely, succinctly and clearly.
To facilitate your task, we offer several correct answers to the most common children's questions, each of which will appear in his age:
Sex education of preschool children:
awareness of gender
When a child instead of "Give Dime" Do "Give Kate," begins to say "Give me", that is, when it first about himself says "I ", which means that the child already has a deep understanding of what I - a boy and not a girl, and vice versa.
- • Up to 1.5-2 years of age the child is able to remember and identify affiliation to the floor.
- • At the age of 4-6 years, the child learns the external pattern of behavior of their own sex and tries to behave accordingly: "This girly jacket - says mother of four son - I will not wear it."
development and sexual education of preschool children allows to perceive the external differences between women and men - in the structure of their genitals, in the nature of games, clothes.At 4-5 years of age there is a persistent notion that "I am - a girl" or "I am - a boy," an informed understanding of behavioral norms, selection of appropriate gender roles in the plot-role-playing games.
If there is a normal sex, sex education, in 7-8 years, the child appears own line of conduct, corresponding to the moral and physical standards and requirements.This line sexual behavior manifests itself in the selection of games for girls and boys, in the nature of communication with the opposite sex, in the manner of the child's behavior.
directly assimilation role behavior gender occurs when from simple children's imitative games, the child goes to the games plot, displaying male and female professions, actions, characters, relationships.
established that from 5-6 years in boys consistently predominate role play "war", "guards", "fire brigade", "astronauts", "drivers", "Pilot", "spies", accompanied by a form of communication, objects, actions - just like in adults, present, male life.So it is going awareness and sexual education of boys in this age.Previously, sexual education of girls going through the game in the "Mothers and Daughters", "school", "hospital", "to cook".
differences are only in the characters of the game action and objects to play with.Boys move more, running, hiding.Girls wash, tie, comb, are arranged, are collected.The actions of the girls directly related to the family, with women's concerns at home.Boys - closer to recreating the behavior of these men, a male profession.
Look to your children closely.You have no cause for concern?
For your children exactly is your projected, parental behavior, the boys - copy the behavior and actions of the pope, the girl - the behavior of mothers, considering them an example to follow, immutable truth.
With this game to simulate the actions that will be used in the future in the implementation of gender roles - male father or mothers.Is it right for you parents behave, whether the line is giving sex education to your children?
Sex education of preschool children:
take in caregivers tale
To understand how you need and how not to behave in a girl or boy, helping preschoolers tales, stories that, like, "programmed" in childrena certain style of behavior.
children tend to inherit the landmarks sexual behavior of these characters in the child's imagination and courage of femininity embodied in concrete deeds and actions.
Family allows kids to read is still mentally to participate in the life of fairy-tale characters, taking the side of the good characters, brave and learn to spare and protect the offended.It is important for adults to help them better understand the behavior of the characters, comment on pictures, pay attention to the moral quality of the actors, to discuss the importance of this, encourage the child to reflect.For example: "Do you remember why the piece of ice in the heart of Kai turned?As Gerda managed to melt the ice in the heart of Kai?Do you think that if Gerda and Kai did not like was the evil girl, she would be able to help him? "And so on.
sex education to girls and boys sex education:
matter how many tales of tenderness and courage, kindness and sensitivity, you do not read your child, you will always remain the first example: for a boy - my father, for the girl - my mother.Your relationship with each other, as in a family style of communication, behavior is the first model of sexual behavior of a woman or a man who has known the baby and tends to inherit.While this is still a game, but the baby, anyway, take this model as an example and certainly hold its own in adulthood.
inquisitive and observant kids often do not understand what it is about adults, but perfectly capture the tone of a mother and father.So, I think what you are talking about, and what you are doing.To illustrate an example of life.The five-year Kolya - a frequent witness discussions privacy familiar parent - wanting to attract attention, authoritatively stated in the presence of the guests: "I know who the mistress.