Child age from six to fourteen years - a very important and critical period .It is now a child lays the foundation of masculinity , it is now the boy learns to be a man .How to bring up a boy at that age ?What exactly is a father supposed to do to pass his son the best male qualities ?And how to bring up a boy without a father single mother ?All these issues are relevant in this age than ever before.
The first part of the topic , how to bring up the boy before the age of six can be found by following the link :"How to bring up a boy? .
- With six to thirteen years: interest in masculinity
With the boys in the age of six there are important metamorphosis.They seemed to wake up dormant earlier masculinity.Boys , do not watch TV a lot , suddenly begin to show genuine interest in weapons , wearing raincoats supermen dream , fight and fight , play loud and warlike games .
Another remarkable metamorphosis typical for boys of all countries, times and cultures - it is an incredible interest in men .Around the age of six boys seemed closed to the pope or his grandfather , uncle , friend, man.The boy wakes up the desire to be near a man to imitate him , to learn from him .They have a great desire to "learn to be a man ."
Now the Pope has never should demonstrate their best qualities.Father especially needed to help his wife with the housework, and men perform household duties.The boy did not simply imitate and copy literally Dad behavior.Therefore, if the father came home from work, put on the couch with the newspaper, the boy perceives it as true male behavior.Soon the child will return to school, to deal exclusively with their games and will not help my mother.If you clean and wash dishes - female duty, wash behind the cup and clean socks in a basket of dirty laundry boy is only a scandal and a belt.The child simply does not understand why he is forced to do it, because Dad does not.
Influence of the father in this period of extremely large.If the father ignores his son, the boy can hold just wildest antics, just to attract his father's attention.There were times when my son all the time missing the doctor pretended to seriously ill, and to the extent that is really ill, without any apparent reason.And this happened every time my father went somewhere for a while.There are tricks sons ending fires, serious injuries, violent behavior at school.To attract the attention of his father, the boy can start to urinate in bed, steal, fight, perform various indiscretions.Therefore, to bring the boy to six years it is necessary in the presence and direct involvement of the father.
Mom, as before mean a lot
Change of interest in favor of the father of the child does not mean that the mother leaves the stage.Educating a boy as ever in its jurisdiction and its powers.It is not necessary to distance himself from his sons, in an attempt to make them more masculine - it's wrong.In order to properly educate a boy you need to know, and he felt that, always and everywhere can rely on my mother.No need to bring the boy to excessive rigor, jamming him affection.The ideal scheme, how to bring up the boy is the son of the proximity to my mother, with the direct effect of the father.If Dad feels that son too is involved in the interests of the mother (which happens quite often), he should strengthen his own influence, for example, giving more time to communicate with the child, joint hiking or fishing, repairing an old motorcycle and the like, is also perfectly suited.The main thing is to criticize the mother or female duties can not in any case!
Sometimes the father too strict and demanding with respect to her son , and then the boy begins to be afraid of him , shunned.This is very bad.Pope should reconsider its attitude and not to lose contact with the nascent son.
If the mother of the son suddenly moves away or deprive him of the attention and warmth, the result can be sad: the boy, trying to numb the pain and hurt, like cuts the very binding threads of his mother - the love and tenderness.Finding no response from the mother, the son subconsciously finds that hard to be a warm feeling that it threatens responded and pain.If the boy puts himself to such a damper, it surely will grow quite rude and abrupt, incapable of true manifestation of warmth and tenderness in relation to their children and spouse.Such men (bosses, fathers, husbands), all well known to us, emotionally clenched, they are not able to make contact, to find common ground with people who are often limited to the orders and threats in case of disobedience.
In your power to make sure that your son did not grow that way.All you need to do - it's just more likely to embrace it - and at six and ten and sixteen.How to bring up a boy ?The love and respect - the only right answer.
- Five Commandments of paternity
This item tells dads how to bring up the boy.Learn a few lessons competent fatherhood think not hurt anyone .
- First Commandment: "Begin, the sooner the better."
The process of education should be involved right from the period of pregnancy .Talk to mom about the future hopes and plans related to the child.Talk to the tummy mommy - baby still in the womb hears and takes your voice and intonation , and then recognize him after the birth , your voice soothes him and instills a sense of security .
Involved since birth in the care of the baby.This is a key step , it is now lining up future relations .Of course, child care and discipline you , and your priorities in life change .It is certainly difficult, but necessary.Fathers who take care from the very beginning of the newborn , as if the children are configured on the same wavelength .By the way, the men well , it turns out to cope with the baby, when you need to calm down , calm him in the night .They shake him, lull , sing songs , and sometimes even better than women!
Do not turn into a hen , not at all , just follow the advice of moms your son or other, more experienced mentors .Take pride in their own achievements - you can be proud .Even if you are very busy with their work , be sure to use a weekend or holiday , to pay attention to the baby .From the age of two son's starting , ask mom to leave for the weekend you together with your child .So you will understand that copes with his father's role , and give the opportunity to do a mom you to joy.
- The second commandment: "Take your time."
You definitely need to find time to raise her son .If you during the week to spend 55-60 hours working continuously go on business trips , and simply disappears in the service , to fulfill their paternal responsibilities , you can not.Without your participation it is impossible to raise the boy .Your son may be a problem in my life because of this , and that will certainly affect you .
Dads need to come home in time to play, to laugh, to frolic with his son, he read a bedtime story, to tell the cautionary tale, to learn something.The work in large corporations, business is often the enemy of the family.Fathers often prefer lower earnings, to leave the opportunity to spend more time in the family.Think next time you offer an advance that will require frequent trips and longer duration of the working day.Perhaps you should give up, decide that your child and your family more of the money and the position that you can earn.
- The Third Commandment: "Do not hold back emotions."
Do not be a "cracker"!Hugging her little son, hang out with him in the fight, to the very age!All kids learn through play, and the boys, through games with fathers.Alternate noisy, outdoor games with a quiet and peaceful pastime.At the impromptu boxing lessons dad can teach a child chess tactics, for example.Children are very susceptible to all sorts of stories, they just like to sit next to her father, to play music or sing.Be sure to talk to his son about what he's smart, beautiful, creative - try to praise them often and sincerely.If your mom and dad were not in such open expression of feelings, you have to learn this.And, of course, it will not be easy, but it's worth it.
Some men are afraid to show affection in respect of his son , arguing that it could affect his orientation , make it "blue ."However, It is absolutely nonsense .Rather the opposite, much more true.Most bisexuals and gays , as evidenced by psychologists, in contrast, have suffered as a child from a lack of paternal tenderness , which to some extent explains this craving for male affection .
- The Fourth Commandment: "More fun."
Be sure to rejoice your baby.If you spend time with them only out of duty or guilt, is good kiddies will bring.Try to find a pastime with his son, the types of activities that will appeal to both of you.Rid your son from the "burden of responsibilities", not forgetting to instill a sense of responsibility and a desire to help around the house.Do not load them without action sports or other extracurricular activities.Leave one or two sections, or mug, so the boy have time to just be yourself.Try to organize his spare time so that the son was not hanging around aimlessly, and it is better to devote to games, talking, walking.Avoid excessive rivalry games.Train your kids constantly, share everything you know and you know how.
- The Fifth Commandment: "Discipline - this is important."
Many of today's fathers are opting for the role of a such " pious daddy " , leaving all the difficult questions and problems of education of their mate.You should not take a passive stance , participate in decision-making , make sure that as a kid homework and housework.That's right , you can set the rules of discipline - firmly but calmly .Mothers and grandmothers usually spoil the child, and may grow out of it " sissy " capricious and irresponsible .
Do not try in any case to the assault , even sometimes tempted to smack mischievous child " in the neck ."Insist on respect and build on its reputation and experience rather than physical and psychological advantage.Always Hear his son and consider his experience and feelings.Discuss global issues of upbringing and his wife whether all manage to right that should be changed ?This boy's upbringing is very joint brings parents opened a new , deeper domain understanding.
- The object to be emulated
A child under the age of six - fourteen all also loves his mom and she can learn a lot.However, his interests change significantly : the boy is more inclined to study the man .He understands that matures .To the development and education of boys was complete , you must "load" into it as much as possible information from the man .
Mom is just quietly accept this fact, maintaining the warmth and readiness at any moment to provide support for his son.The main task of the father - to step up its own participation and to raise the boy on his example and life experiences.If the father is not near the child, then the boy begins to look for some other man in his own environment - for example, in school, in the courtyard, on the section.Today, unfortunately, among the male teachers are less, especially in elementary school, so this period of growing child becomes somewhat problematic.
- How to bring up a boy without a father
Single mothers have to bring up the boy alone , it was so and so , unfortunately , it will.However , there is no doubt in the ability of women to raise a decent man , of course not .But - and this is a very big "but " - almost all women , which it has successfully managed to have had in their environment and , therefore, surrounded by a son, a man worthy of imitation.
As you know, up to the age of six the boy could well do without male attention.But how to bring up a boy without a father after six years?The answer is, in general, is obvious: to properly educate a boy without a father it is your responsibility to provide him with an adult mentor, a friend, who will be able to exert their influence on man's indispensable boy's upbringing.You can ask for help from his own brother, father, friend - and his uncle, and grandfather, and your friend will be able to help raise the boy masculine qualities, passions and aspirations.
If the men and among close relatives did not find these in which you could rely on the issue of education of his son , while attracted to the help of experts .Write a boy in the classroom , where the head is just a man .Send the boy in the section - athletic trainer perfectly cope with the task .Correctly to bring up a boy without a father and a leader can help some of the youth organization and others.
In general, during this period of life, from six to fourteen years, my mother will have to rely on outside help.And of course, it is better if an example for others to follow his own son is you choose, based on their life wisdom and foresight, and not himself.Take the time to surround his son worthy men, otherwise he will find a standard for others to follow, somewhere in the yard of the company, for example, and a miracle happens when this standard will be really worthy.Well, of course, be careful and you making your choice - unfortunately, in today's world there is a considerable risk of sexual abuse of boys.
Undoubtedly, for moms is a great responsibility on the issue of how to bring up a boy without a father.And only they bear the consequences of parenting her son , but nothing to be proud of the success of this training in the future!
- We draw conclusions
While the boy is in primary school and junior high , he needs to spend more time with his father and mother , to fully get help from them, gaining experience and vital knowledge from them, enjoying their company .As for the emotional point of view , the pope goes into this period to the fore.Son is willing to learn from him , his inherit , to listen to his opinion .As a rule, the son of that age begins to be around her father .Sometimes , it does not benefit the child , as you know .
Transitional period - six to fourteen years - an ideal opportunity for the father to have a son his personal influence, the boy lay in the basis of the male character.You can not miss this moment, this moment should be lived for the benefit of the future of man.Any, even the smallest business can go for the good of the child, and games on summer evenings outdoors;and common hobbies or sports;and walking the talk "about life" and stories of his own childhood.It was during this period are laid in memory of the son of the most pleasant memories of his childhood, those memories that will feed the boy all of his adult life.
Do not be scared, if a son, in your opinion, is too cold blood - it may well be that this style of behavior adopted the boy in his school, or with friends.Persevere, and then you will see that under the guise of histrionic, feigned indifference hidden fun, playful, loving son.Do not miss any opportunity to spend time with the child when the child really wants to share with you their society.In fact, this period is not so long, closer to the youth filial interest will be directed to a greater extent in the world, and you can not so confidently and so authoritatively affect it.Do not miss your chance to participate in the life of his son!
To learn how to properly educate a boy aged fourteen years and over , read the third part , here:"How to bring up a boy ?Part III: Features of education of the son of fourteen and older ".
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