Well, I agree, unless is it life?You dreamed about it?To this aim, the childhood, listening to what men do not cry, life safety lessons by going to school, marching on the parade ground in the army?Where is it, this long-awaited freedom, hard-won over many years, stoically enduring the tyranny of the classroom teacher and great-aunt? .. That's enough!February 23 - that's your holiday, the only men's day in the year!So do finally what you really want and not what the grumbling wife and mother-in-law is buzzing in the ear!Down with the conventions and taboos!Down Women's okay!It's time to get out of life.Spend February 23 the way you want as long dreamed of.Do not go on about the others, create your own script on February 23!And the advice that you read below, is used to mark a truly enchanting February 23!
- BOARD number 1: cultivator!
thoughtfully and carefully picking his nose.Rolled into balls was found there, and the virtuoso movement runs in a portrait of his beloved mother in law.Aim.
- BOARD number 2: "Loans useful thing!»
February 23 - it's time to do something really useful.For example, car repair.It's about time.Get out of the garage in the morning and come home at midnight and another at the ready with the rear axle of the car.Located on the floor directly in the living room, it is convenient.Folding the nuts and keys on the coffee table.It is good that on the table a white lace tablecloth - it is easier to see, the details are not lost.To remove waste oil from the fingers are used handkerchief wife out of that, a large clean box.Do not you wash your hands before this!You're not some kind of criminal, you have nothing to be afraid to leave their fingerprints.
- BOARD number 3: "Eat right!»
beer and chips - this is the food!It is time to remember that and to his wife, after all!At the table to slip on the plate all at once.Raking in his arms all like and go to the couch to the TV.Brine drink straight from the quarter with cucumbers, garlic and herbs to the spit.Or drop crumbs on the floor, slurp, talk with your mouth full, loud laugh, throwing splashes around.You are the master in the house!Immediately after dinner and right up to the dinner opens the refrigerator every half hour long and contemplate its contents.The sad sigh and go back to the TV.
- Council number 4: "Protect your property!»
plate protects property from encroachments from the outside, when you eat, to cover her elbows on both sides, hanging all over her body content.Going out for a smoke on the balcony, shove the TV remote under the gum cowards - so reliable.Do not let your wife pick out from under the sofa standing socks "I in them will go to work tomorrow!".Gently otodvinu spouse of the sink, pulled out of the trash can lid from a bottle of beer, and return it to its rightful place - the sill.Suddenly Tomorrow campaign, and you do not have enough traffic jams!
- Council number 5: "Be a hero!»
showed himself a real hero, a true defender of the weak.Tell us the latest news about his wife:
- 1. vampires living in the closet;
- 2. rats that emerge from the toilet;
- 3. killer cockroaches;
- 4. spiders, who had built a cocoon sleeping woman in her hair.
warn her of the danger, with a clear conscience Go drink another beer.Up to three nights.On return - comforted the sobbing wife.You're close - she was safe!
- Council number 6: "Down with boredom!»
February 23 - Your Day, diversify your life.Can not your own script on February 23 to let you mope, so:
- 1. descend on football.Yaro pain of "Spartacus" on the podium "Dynamo".Questions friends after the match, where did your face so tasty purple, boldly confessed: "Sunburn.Do not go to a tanning salon!Br-rr ... ";
- 2. Feel Schumacher.Squeeze out of the car all that it can.Road signs are ignored clipped safely;
- 3. Do not pass a street fight alcoholics.Without a shadow of doubt go hand to hand.Having earned his neck a couple of times, with a satisfied smile back home: "Wow, did not believe it, barely to separate."
- Council number 7: "Down with hypocrisy!»
February 23 - is the time to be yourself.Going to visit a loud shout: "healthy" and immediately took a place on the couch watching TV, look football or another series "Brigade".Do not stop until you find, click the remote control, if only one of some 200 channels will be exactly what we need.Unbutton your shirt, take off your socks, fling a chair tie - it strangles you.During the advertising fall asleep on the couch.Snoring.Louder!Broaching!Even louder!In the end, this is not a conservatory ... Attempts to wake you up, muttering: "I am six spoons of sugar ...".
- BOARD number 8: "Free from harmful thoughts!»
Do not limit yourself in the negative emotion.Ruga:
- 1. corrupt government;
- 2. impoverished country;
- 3. crappy weather;
- 4. Chief-miser;
- 5. ubiquitous Jews.
- BOARD number 9: "nostalgic!»
remember the past.Come home late at night.Piano sad and worried.Look into the bedroom, threw a reproachful glance at his wife: "You sleep ... And the anniversary of the Red Army!".Make your way to the kitchen, tripping over a stool.Get it out of the fridge chekushku, jar of cucumbers and onion ... Sitting in the kitchen in his underpants, leafing through a military card, carefully wrapped in a wrapper of a newspaper scraps, made with his own hands.Rereading the dear word in a whisper: "... took the military oath", "Information about the medical inoculations ...", "Participation in battles and military campaigns", "Awards and distinctions" ... If winning is not available, hang a medal on the chestown dog.Gordo and expression Read the column titled "Weapons and personal belongings a soldier", "AK-74 ...", whisk a tear from her cheek and continues - "mask OP-7 ...".Enough to hold back - howl.Louder!A real man does not hesitate to cry!
- TIP number 10: "With the fantasy of freedom!»
fantasize.Make your own script on 23 February.Tell a friend that he was going to buy a "Porsche", but overspend a little - the Canary Islands have spent the extra dollars and forty pieces.Do not forget to mention the friendship with celebrities.Share how you appreciate Dibrov long calling you on TV.Tell me, how he had gone to Anna Semenovich in store to choose a swimsuit that has recently called an old buddy - Stas Mikhailov, I asked to drop a new song to evaluate.Told about Alla Pugacheva - your neighbor in the country, simply visiting a tea to your house.
- TIP number 11: "Spend your money wisely!»
Buy something really necessary and useful:
- 1. smoking pipe, encrusted with emeralds;
- 2. rope ladder;
- 3. twelve powerful speakers in a "Zaporozhets".
Call wife with you to share the joy of a valuable purchase.React philosophically sad to mine and the wife claims such as: "The daughter parted shoes, go to school there is nothing, and you ...»:
- 1. «We are not rich enough to buy cheap things";
- 2. «She still skates are not demolished";
- 3. «go to hell!".
- TIP number 12: "Liberate your libido»
February 23 whether sex!At night in the Defender of the Fatherland Day stand before his wife in one of black satin shorts and socks to match.Naduy biceps, gather in the stomach, click on the heel of the heel in the air, and proudly shake afoot bald on his head.Introduced himself, so take control and switch the TV to a football match.
- TIP number 13: "Retire when the first problems!»
not load yourself, your script February 23 did not accept!Depart from controversy.Get out of his duties.On February 23 the work do not go to comment on the decision directly and clearly: "I do not want!Tired! ".If all went well, without delay react to the chief adequate instruction: "Fuck off, eh?".All Time solitaire "Solitaire."On the threat of dismissal - smile.Agree with all the silence - nod nod ... In the case of particularly insoluble conflict - set fire to the office and go home to watch television.
- TIP number 14: "Think positive!»
Rascherti life plans, the potential scale of success, shot a strategy of conquering the career ladder.Overlaid books from the series "How to Succeed in 24 hours", "How to Be a Millionaire."Bring a wife, let outlines ... Quickly dictate spouting ideas, widely pacing around the room and lose the ashes from the tube on the carpet of emerald ... still active!More words!More expression!Hungry, ended the life of a brilliant work of logical, "Yes, it's all gone!»
- TIP number 15: "Take care of the future family!»
You're a man, the breadwinner earner!February 23 - it's time to prove it and to take care of the material welfare of the family.Borrow from a neighbor-thugs-five thousand dollars bail apartment.With chic play them in the casino.Forget, do not worry - "... lucky in love."Buy a condom the last detail and carnation flower.Remember, you have a wife - your strong rear.Everything will be "gut"!Come home winged, in anticipation of a brighter future.
- TIP number 16: "Make new friends!»
win friends.Make a married ladies debate about the benefits of polygamy.Carefully remind colleagues about smoking lung cancer.Enthusiastically tell pregnant, how many tears during childbirth was your wife.Flirted with feminists, "Well you should not score a pretty head such nonsense!".Interested politicians: "Tell the truth, that in the Duma all gay?".Loud yawn when someone other than you, says.Interrupt - your point of view more valuable who disagrees - a fool.Be generous.It is not necessary to remember the wrongs, to remember offenders.Grab your friends for a sleeve and tells an intimate whisper in your ear that you shell-shocked in the army on his head.Treat yard pyanchuzhek moonshine, tell me what you have served in the Airborne, and show a master class, how to split an empty bottle on the head of a neighbor on the left.
- TIP number 17: "to join the beautiful!»
cut in your monster-center on a full and listen Aryan "Ramstein", when the sound pressure is not less than 145 decibels."But ... Th, you say?Hush?Oh FIG!Airport technology laughed at! ".Do not respond to the cries of their neighbors.I do not notice the emphasis in the district.Gene Grant:
- 1. earplugs;
- 2. the booklet "Life on the runway.Tips rescuers ";
- 3. Ticket to the village to second cousin aunt.
- TIP number 18: "Be sincere!»
Well, when there begin to be sincere, but on February 23?When still afraid to stop convictions of others and to tell others the truth, but on February 23?Admire other women, even more than you do not mind the presence of his wife.Tell me the truth neighbor - "Your most appetizing ass!".Walking along the street with his wife, smile counter ladies.Looks back after handsome.Whistles.Winks saleswomen in shops.Visiting familiar conversation all evening with sexy blonde.Retire with beauty for inspection Library hosts home.Give your phone number to all nice girls, offering to call at any time.If you picked up the phone his wife, push it to the side, let him say that she was your sister.
- TIP number 19: "Open yourself to the world!»
brag, do not be shy to raise their self-esteem.Let envy!Tell us:
- 1. wife flew to the wedding;
- 2. that you can get behind the wheel after two bottles of vodka;
- 3. soon get rich;
- 4. that bought the rope ladder.
- TIP number 20: "Feel comfortable!»
looks like he wants.A tie or tie.Pants not surface.Not buttoning his pants.Shoes are not clean.Buttons - a sign of snobbery.Do not shave or comb.Remember: in man the main thing - the soul, not the exterior!
- TIP number 21: "Dream on!»
Remember, the idea is material.So sit down and repeat, like a mantra: "I want a lot of money, I want to" Pontiac ", Anna Semenovich I want ... I want a lot of money, I want to" Pontiac ", Anna Semenovich want ...".Come to the astral plane.Do not stop there - requires sympathy from the astral plane.Today, 23 February, which means that everything will turn out exactly.
- TIP number 22: "Keep calm and fortitude!»
Do not let yourself to terrorize.You deserve to rest at least on 23 February.Any question spouses short answer "yes", "no" or laconic silence.Do not go crazy.Do everything in silence.Suppose she realizes you love her or not, whether you want it or do not want to live.Rather than sit around and guess wife began to collect things?Well, think of it - is not charged.Keep calm and fortitude.In the end, leave the woman is easier than with the habits.
- TIP number 23: "It is time to withdraw the vessel from the peak»
Okay, okay ... enough.He Got Game.Doprygat.Dovypendrivalsya.Go reconciled ... to hook under pants hockey kneepads, prudently taken from another rental in order not to get hurt when you will repent.Scour portrait of Tiffany kozyavok emitted from the balcony rear axle, hiding the dirty tablecloth stiralku, relative to the pawnshop tube with emeralds, precious rope ladder, and go to buy an apartment from a bandit.Moved out of the apartment empty bottles, shave, wash, brush your hair, fasten his fly - be a man, in short.In the chorus of complaints and accusations of households dutifully sighs fault supposedly more so I will not.Be strong and remember - come even on your street festival!Well, a year or something, certainly will come!
Oh, almost forgot - prepare and store the money on March 8!Otherwise exactly gone ...