Children's tantrums - how to behave?
only desire of parents whose children are satisfied with tantrums, it is often to escape somewhere far away not to hear the endless crying child.It seems like the best way to deal with temptation still apply corporal punishment in response to the children's tantrums, despite the fact that today the majority of parents believe it is unacceptable.
cause of childhood tantrums
manifestations of hysteria in children are different - with tears and complaints before the screaming and the use of violence to surrounding people (or objects).Tantrums are equally common in boys and girls, and is particularly common among children aged one to three years.
Because children are very different temperament, one child tantrums can happen on a regular basis, another, more peaceful - very rare.They are a normal part of the little man, and are not necessarily viewed as extremely negative phenomenon.
Unlike adults, children do not have sufficient capacity for self-control.Imagine that you are trying to play a DVD-player, you do not go out, no matter how you try.This is very annoying, and you are likely to begin to swear, throw on the floor the operating instructions slams the door ... then cooled, again takes up the player and perhaps this time will succeed.It is the adult version of a tantrum.Young children are trying to fine-tune the world for themselves, for their own needs;when they fail, they resort to a single, as it seems, the available tools - hysterical.
Several major cause of childhood tantrums familiar to every parent: the child may choose to focus, he was tired, hungry, or it is inconvenient (for example, because of the newshoes).In addition, tantrums are often the result of dissatisfaction with the child around the world - when they can not get what you want.Tantrums are especially frequent in the second year of life, when a child understands a lot, but not well said - they called it by its inability to properly express their thoughts.
When children become a little older, they start using tantrums to assert their independence and to exercise their will.
How to avoid tantrums
First of all you need to make sure that the child is not satisfied with tantrums just because he does not get enough attention.Although adults can be difficult to understand from the point of view of the child's negative attention (reaction of parents to the tantrum) is better than no attention.If the child does not get enough attention, he will try to get it by any means, and hysteria is one of them.To prevent this, find the time to talk with your child, read the book to him, praise him for his good behavior.You can just comment on his actions - for example, when he is playing or eating;All this gives the child understand that not forgotten about it, and the desire to arrange a tantrum occurs less frequently.
- Allow your child to control his life - at least to some extent.For example, ask him if he wanted to brush your teeth before or after having taken a bath if he would drink orange juice or apple, and so on.If you ask a child prone to tantrums if he wants juice at all, most likely, he will answer in the negative.
- Distract the child.He still can not hold the attention on an object long enough, and that we must use.If you notice that a child is dissatisfied with something and is close to hysteria, ask him to do something else, that it distracted from the source of discontent.You can simply change the situation, for example, to transfer the child to another room - often this is enough to keep him quiet.
- weigh the request of the child.If he asks for something that you can afford, and that is not a danger to him, try to fulfill his wish.In the end, if you deny him in all his tantrums are quite good reasons.
- If a child is tired or not feeling well, do not offer him a walk to the store and do not insist that he ate.Tired children are often only need to leave for some time alone so it did not come into hysterics.
What if hysteria has begun
The most important recommendation for parents in such situations: do not lose control.If you give free rein to their emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code , the situation only worse.
Corporal punishment will not help: so you just give the child to understand that the problems can be solved by force, and hysteria from this will not be less.
Try to understand what is happening.With hysterical need to cope in different ways, depending on what the cause.For example, if a child who has offended, probably, it requires only your consolation.
If hysteria is caused by your refusal to give anything or buy a child, try to ignore his cries and screams.You can once explain to the child why you replied to his request for waiver, but do not expect that he will understand you - at least, as long as the rest.Give him crying and go about their business, but do not let the child out of sight.
In no case do not let the child wanted, just to stop the tantrum - if you do this, it will in the future seek his in the same way.
When hysteria is over, hug a child to make him understand - you love him no matter what.Prior to that, you can gently tell him what he did wrong, and ask him not to do it.It is unlikely that he will listen to you, but maybe in the future he will think before you demand something tears and cry.
If eventually baby tantrums are becoming more prolonged and intense, and / or if the child often tries to hurt themselves or others, seek professional help.In most cases of hysteria eventually pass by themselves, the baby learn to communicate more effectively with the world, and parents become much calmer.