Mama's Boy: whether to enter into a relationship with him?
wish list for the future husband most women begins with the reliability, determination and courage.Unfortunately, these qualities have not all are males, some of whom did not become independent and "cling to the mother's skirt" almost to retirement.Mama's Boy - this is not the man, with whom relations are going to be nice and easy.
Where do they come
believed that sissy come from single-parent families.After his parents' divorce or the death of the father the boy stays with his mother, who for the sake of the child refuses to marry again, and devotes herself to raising a child Raising a child: who will win? .It can literally "blow off motes" with a son or be strict and domineering, but in any case the mother and child have strong ties, which are not so easy to break.
Of course, all children are tied to their mothers, but in adolescence the child gradually (and sometimes quite dramatically) separated from their parents, to the age of seventeen to twenty years of "fly out of the nest."Unfortunately, this does not always happen.The boy's mother could force him to stay with them a variety of ways: in the course are, and manipulation and direct pressure.As a rule, the young man gives up and continues to live in his parents' house, or at least retains a close relationship with his mother.
It would seem that what is wrong in children and parental love?But life is arranged so that as long as the children live with their parents, it is extremely difficult to become self-reliant.The main family is mom, which means that her son never becomes independent.
Similarly, the relationship with the mother may develop in boys who grew up in two-parent families.For example, if the father did not take a serious part in the upbringing of a child suffering from alcoholism or simply was a workaholic, and my mother has elevated anxiety anxiety - how to distinguish normal from disease? and sought to constantly monitor his son.
How to recognize the mother's son
There are several attributes that can be suspected that the man too attached to his mother:
- As a rule, these men marry late, and by the age of thirty have experience over their shouldersliving together with a woman;
- Sometimes they do not have the experience and independent life.The man, who is thirty years lives with his mother, quite suspicious;
- young man supports his mother in regular contact, report on their movements and is always ready to change his plans when his mother so desires;
- man who is not inclined to seek a solution, and the blame for these problems, too, are likely to be stuck in childhood.It is possible that it is infantile mother's son;
- Young people too often spoke about his mother or, even sadder, leads her as an example.Well, I have to admit that my mother takes too large a place in his heart;
- He can not decide on their own and need the advice of his own mother?You should not rejoice if he ask for advice to someone else: the man simply can not and is afraid to make decisions.
mother's behavior men too can be eloquent.So, some of the ladies do not hide that jealous sons to daughters-potential.But even if the future mother-friendly and looks nice, should not deceive ourselves: its place in the heart of the son she will not give up without a fight.
What threatens the relationship with this man?
mama's boy may be harmless enough: they do not do anything wrong, but simply obedient to the will of his mother.But do not expect from such a man of independence and decisive action.It is unlikely to be able to support his family, and certainly will not be able to defend it in a critical situation.Mama's boy can be frustratingly passive or, on the contrary, fussy-active, but they are never willing to take responsibility for their actions.
Sometimes mama's boy rebelling as a rebellious teenager.They seldom dare to raise his voice to his mother, so they try to assert themselves at the expense of other people, such as his wife.And then everything is possible, from some obscure demands obedience and submission to blows.Some men tied to the mother trying to prove its independence by means cheating - this is a very popular form of rebellion.Caught in the act, such a man will ask for forgiveness or to prove that it has the right to change, but the secret is just to respect themselves for what decided to rebel.
Rules of communication with sissy
To please this man is simple: just like his mother, and once and for all agree that it is - an ideal.If the future mother in law would not oppose the marriage, and her son, too, will not mind: it is possible to think about marriage and life together.To think about all of this is necessary, of course, the future wife, mama's boy does not like to engage in organizational matters.
With such men can only get along very domineering and very enterprising lady, capable, however, remain on the sidelines, leaving the palm-law -law - survival strategy .It is not necessary to demonstrate its power: it is better to create the impression of a man, that he - the head of the family.
re-educate mama's son is almost impossible, it is better to leave all illusions on this score, and accept the fact that my mother will always be for him in the first place.It is not necessary to enter into a conflict with her mother in law: surely her son will be on the side of the mother, and would prefer to leave his wife (and if by the time a baby, then the baby), so as not to disappoint my mother.
If there is a conflict between mother and son, it is better not to intervene, while maintaining strict neutrality.They certainly make peace, but to blame for everything may appoint a daughter.
possible, should try to persuade the man to live separately from his mother.Living together is not easy-in-law at all, and live with a jealous and overly active in-law is doubly difficult.Of course, a loving mother would find a way to control and son at a distance, but there is a chance that at least she will not be breaking into the bedroom at the most inopportune moment.