Children's whims - the tactics of conduct for parents
childhood - a time of constant change and attempts to adapt to them.Preschoolers and younger students frightening place to them changes, it causes stress How to beat stress?Create an oasis and most diverse forms of reaction, including - children's whims.
When the children cry at his younger brother or sister, slams the door, say hurtful things parents - it's often a veiled cry for help, but the child can not admit it even to himself.Typically, children begin whims about three years and end with an offensive puberty awkward age - a period of emotional turmoil .Mood swings, a protest against anything, dissatisfaction with themselves and others at teenagers not called caprices, because of all this there are objective reasons - the sharp fluctuations in hormonal levels, changes in body perception, the emergence of mass psychological problems.No wonder, if because of this people sometimes lose control.
have a small child or preschooler reasons to be upset, it seems, is not - he still cloudless, carefree childhood, which is necessary to enjoy and when the baby does not behave in the best way, they say that he whim.
cause of childhood whims
In fact, the lives of young children is not so rosy as it seems.Of course, it should be great to sleep for twelve hours a day, eat cooked food for you, and all the free time to devote to games.However, in two years, children go through a personal crisis: they have just learned to walk and use a variety of tools, and strive as much as possible to explore the world, and at the same time, they are afraid that it may detect.Finally, they are afraid of the idea that the parents, whom they trust so as never to trust anyone will not suddenly disappear somewhere.In addition, parents sometimes behave strangely.From time to time they make a child to do something against his will, and is sometimes very hard say "no" - from the perspective of the child, they do it just like that.
Even if you gently justifies its ban ("No, dear, do not need to take this knife for cutting meat, you can cut yourself"), two year old childstill does not understand what you are doing it for the sake of his safety.Because it makes the parents - the people he loved very much and who trust - the refusal may be perceived as a sign that the child does not like.It causes fear and often leads to the whims - the child is not so much want to get the knife, how to make sure that it is still expensive to their parents.This logic may seem strange, but in fact the children really do not think like adults.The pain felt by children in situations comparable to that experienced by adults who changes the favorite person.
When a child is three or four years, he begins to realize that his parents will not abandon, no matter what happens, and the reasons are the whims of others.At this age the child already understands that he - not a single entity with the parents, and begins to strive to fulfill their own desires.When it does not work (you refuse to buy a toy for a child fifteenth month, or trying to put him to bed too early - in his opinion), he begins to protest.More often than not the whims of that age are accompanied to spreading all that comes to hand, and even aggression against others.The reason for this is quite simple.If an adult, with its advanced speech, words can explain the reason for his anger, the child it is not capable of, and uses the skills developed in his best - large motor skills.
In addition, young children are still not well developed frontal lobe of the brain - areas that are responsible for planning, logical thinking, memory and self-control.Therefore, children are literally living in the moment and not thinking about the consequences, can throw glass on the wall (or in person), grab the dog by the tail, and so on.
poorly functioning frontal lobes are also responsible for the fact that in children there is practically no sense of time, and the call to be patient and wait for them - almost empty phrase.They want the cake, which will bake for another half hour, right now, and do not want to wait a couple of hours until the rain will pass, and you can go for a walk.
Do not consider myself a bad parent if your kids act up - as long as it is extremely difficult to behave differently.
How to cope with children's whims
- Do not pay too much attention
Warning adults only fuels the whims of children, and sometimes leads to hysteria.If a child acts up, go about their business for a while and give it to yourself.Gradually he calmed down, and even to draw some conclusions from the situation.
- not buy good behavior
Many parents are tempted to take the path of least resistance, and yield to the requirements of the children to stop whims.They stop, but only temporarily.Some time later, the child starts to act up again, this time with a clear purpose - to get what you want.
- find child activity
Sometimes the cause of the vagaries of becoming bored.Carried away by the child something - for example, drawing or sports, that in his life there is no room for boredom.
- Distract the child
If your child is prone to the vagaries of, try to switch his attention.Play music, sing him a lullaby Lullabies: universal hypnotic , give it an interesting toy - many children quickly forget about their problems when their attention seizes a new object.
- Walk with the child
Shortage of fresh air could be one reason for the capricious behavior.Walk with the child for a walk every day, rain or shine;Exceptions are possible only in the days when he is ill.