Raising a child: who will win?
Raising a child - the most difficult and demanding job of all, for people who can take.At the same time carry out such a difficult job, people usually learn in the process when the child is in the house and retreat, as they say, nowhere.
The notion of how to bring up children, usually come from an environment in which people grew up.This often leads to the fact that people simply copy the methods of their parents, or do the opposite, if they believe that parents raised them wrong.
parents - a role model
This is one the most important aspects of parenting, which we must remember every future parent.Children look at you and repeat after you.If you behave with others (including children) respectful, honest, friendly, if you are kind and generous, it is very likely that children will be the same.If parents quarrel with each other, abuse of children, deceived, angry, while verbally teach children to be kind and honest, most likely, they will grow people for whom aggression, lies and double standards are the norm.Children are a reflection of their parents, so you should look at yourself and decide which of his traits of character you would like to see in their children, and then, if necessary, change their behavior.
Parents should show their children unconditional love - that is, to love them, regardless of school grades, sporting achievements, and so on.This does not mean that the family needed to proclaim the permissiveness and impunity.Children can and should be condemned and punished for bad behavior, but they need to make it clear that you disapprove of it is actions, not their own.That is, it would be right to say, "You're not done when the boy insulted (rude to the teacher / skipped a lesson, and so on)" rather than "You're a bad, bad, lazy."In the first case, you specify it in the act, in the second - describe him as a person, which is not good.In no case do not tell your child that you do not love him, no matter how you get angry;your anger will pass, and the child will remember these words forever.
Why is it so important discipline
Discipline is needed, first of all, parents.Being a mom or dad so - 24 hours a day to be ready to fulfill their parental responsibilities.This is especially true in the early years of a child's life, but you do not stop being parents to the end of life, so even before having children, you should discuss with your partner the degree of responsibility of this step.Parents who lack discipline and responsibility, the children grow up, which is difficult to adhere to strict rules and organize their activities.Therefore, parents should be disciplined themselves, and set clear boundaries of what is permitted for their children.In this way the child learns organization, respect for the law (including, and unwritten), and personal boundaries of others.
spend enough time with their children
to properly educate children, parents need to find time to communicate with them.Due to the work of parents, schools and hobby groups who visit the children to do it is quite difficult.However, try to allocate each put a little time to communicate with the whole family - for example, during lunch or dinner.The conversation should involve all members of the family.Listen carefully to children and themselves, too, to tell them about their affairs.It is not necessary to dedicate them to the details, but communication must be two-way, otherwise children will withdraw into yourself, and you will be more difficult to talk with them.
seated in front of the child and demanding a voice say, "Well, tell me, how are you" - not the best strategy.The maximum that can be achieved in this way - one word answers, backed by the desire to quickly end the conversation.Talk with parents of children should be familiar, normal.If you start to talk to the child only when there are problems, do not expect that he will be honest with you.Joint travel, trips to various events and sports, too, are of great importance in the process of education.
not encourage excessive consumerism
Even if you are able to buy baby phones latest models every six months, it is better not to do it.Explain to him that things should be, above all, functional, and if the old phone works well, it makes no sense to buy a new one.If you do not have a very high income, explain your child the value of things and the money is even more important.Every time a child wants to buy one more shoes, bag, lipstick or something else, ask him to explain why he needs it, and explain that before you buy something new, you need to throw away something old.Try to form the child's critical attitude to advertising (which usually calls for buying unnecessary).Give him some pocket money previously explained exactly how much you need to work to get that amount.Perhaps it makes sense to tell how many work for the money the people of poorer countries.
If a child is already accustomed to a lot of things for him are not necessary, offer him a choice: for example, to buy a new player, or set amount that you would give him, people in need of financial assistance - for example, for the operation.So your child can understand what money there is not only to satisfy immediate desires.And, of course, when the child is old enough, it is necessary to arrange it to work during the summer holidays - Learn how to earn money, children usually change their attitude towards them.
If you have warned the child that will punish him for violating the ban - is punished.Promises like "the next time for sure I will punish" fail.Similarly, if you promise to buy a baby gift for a good score, victory in competitions or for anything else, be sure to do it.Dealing with people who say one thing and do another, no one wants - and you're unlikely to seek to raise a man.