How to help your child recover from the divorce of their parents: first of all, attention
- How to help your child recover from the divorce of their parents: first of all, attention
- What should children
- How to avoid common problems
«Children - cheerful.They quickly return to normal. "People who have already started divorce proceedings, must have heard such words.As parents who hurt their children, they hope that these words are true.They dream that the children have gone through this whole nightmare with less emotional turmoil that he left deep wounds.Although children can easily adapt to any, even the most severe conditions, divorce leaves painful sores.That is why children need help and support of parents.
Because children experience divorce weight loss: Move one of the parents, their own move to a new house (depending on the financial situation of the family), the loss of familiar surroundings.
me sometimes and friends, brothers and sisters are suffering, worsening the financial situation, a bad mood at the custodial parent, there is anger and pain.A sense of security and well-being questioned, when children look back and see the new, unstable around the world.
What can parents do?For many, divorce - it's a shock to the nervous system.How can I recover from this, the more help in this to your child?In this article you will find a practical guide that will help ease the pain, to overcome the difficulties associated with divorce, to comfort the children and let them be kids, when parents are going through hard times.
Where to start recovery
recovery after a divorce - it's a long process that starts with you personally.Divorce will be for your child less emotional turmoil, if you yourself will be calm.Take note of a few tips for complacency, that will help you and your child:
- Find a support group
to normal child has recovered, it is necessary for him to feel in your strength and support.The group should be a source of encouragement and support.The group also needs to be a partnership, the mission comforter and adviser did not go on the shoulders of the child.This role traumatizes the child and reinforces his experience.
- Tell the truth
Explain to your child that the divorce has nothing to do with him.Tell him that this is only you and your former spouse (wife), and in any case not the child.Reassure him that he is still loved by both parents.
Tell him the truth, he can understand, that is, take into account the child's age.If you do not honestly and openly discuss these things, you will only reinforce his anxiety and increase the number of questions about the issue.If your wife left the family for another man, tell the child: "Your mother decided that he no longer wants to live with me.She wants to be with another man, but she is still very fond of you. "
- proceed gradually to changes
Give your child a chance to get used to the changes in the family.The child is difficult to perceive the parents separately, but even worse for the child - to lose family members, familiar environment, home, school, friends and neighbors.Some of the changes are necessary, but try to reduce their number.
- postpone the personal life
It is best to wait two years, and then begin a new relationship.So you give yourself time to recover and the child after the divorce.In extreme cases did not meet with anyone until the divorce is not decorated.You're still married.So you can set an example for your child.Even after the divorce, focus on your own recovery, and on the needs of the child.You are still too vulnerable, and other relationships can cause more damage.
- Allow the child to love the other parent
Do not let resentment interfere with your child's good relations with the former spouse (wife).Help your child to buy greeting cards and gifts, if necessary.Your child will feel relief that you allow him to love the other parent.
never opposed themselves of the other parent.It may be hard, but refrain from negative talk about your ex-husband (wife), for your own child.
- Discipline the child in accordance with the situation
Do not let your own sense of guilt affect the educational measures - be executive parent.Remember that persistence and perseverance form the character.Strict discipline, reasonable limits and daily work will be able to give your child a sense of security and confidence.
- Allow the child to remain a child
Refrain from talking about finances, schedule of visits (the other parent), family problems and quarrels in the presence of a child.Do not use it for the transmission of information or as an argument in the debate.Preserve and protect his innocence.
Divorce deals a devastating blow to your children.Stay gentle to your kids and remember that the most important thing - their emotional recovery after a divorce.
What you need your child to recover from the divorce of their parents
Some people would not say that their family is disadvantaged and parents were divorced.Rather, it would have sounded a compliment Compliments and their meaning: do not mistake the words for them, it is very difficult to be in a difficult situation and not to show it.
Many parents after the divorce, children are transported to other cities, most often there, where they live by their own parents.Thus disappears and financial support of the other parent.A parent raising a child works hard to support his family and does not reject the help grandparents of the child.Only through faith in the family can survive a divorce.Whatever may be said, the children after the divorce of parents to grow up and to take steps to adulthood is very hard.
effect of divorce on children depends on their age.Young children (ages five to eight years) regress in development, behave more emotionally than they "assumed" by age.They feel guilty that the other parent left the family ("Dad got angry at me?") Or experiencing the fear of loneliness.
researchers concluded that children of that age (to understand what is happening, but do not know how to deal with etoim), experiencing a turning point in his life when faced with the divorce of parents.