If my child is lying: how to be?
Some parents complain that their children are constantly lying.They lie about homework, what they ate for lunch, whether or not they brush my teeth.In addition, children often exaggerate their stories look more spectacular, or made a strong impression on the audience.Sometimes the situation comes to that all parents stop trusting children.These children can not be called bad, the parents just do not understand why they are so often lie, especially when a lot easier to tell the truth.Many parents wonder, "What can we do?»
Children lie sometimes confusing or annoying, even many parents.Unfortunately, the vast number of children and adolescents 9-12 years often lie or tell only half the truth.Psychologists say that children lie for different reasons: to hide the consequences of their actions to avoid what they do not want to do, or to feel confident with their peers.Sometimes they say the so-called "white lie" to protect other people.
Be bold - do not be fooled
Imagine this situation.The child is talking to one of your relatives on the phone, and refers to bad communication, to end the conversation.You see that poor communication - is nothing more than an excuse that he uses to not say, "I do not want to talk to you at the moment."You ask him why he lied.The child says he does not want to offend a man saying he did not want to.Simply put, it was easier to lie.
Some teens are not the habit to speak the truth or exaggerate stories about some of the things that is absolutely unacceptable.They think, lie, get what they want, or else they will be able to get out of a sticky situation because of lies.Like many adults, children are not telling the truth, because they think that it is not interesting.Also, children can lie to try to attract attention, to look more powerful and more attractive in the eyes of others, to get the support or sympathy, or because they lack the skills to solve problems.
Lying about risky or dangerous behaviors
It is important to distinguish between a lie, which is used to mask the bad behavior of the child (for example, the usealcohol), and "household lie" that teenagers talk because of their habit or they just so convenient.Parents should immediately react to the lies that covers the unsafe or unlawful actions of the child.If your child is lying about dangerous things, such as use of drugs, alcohol, theft or other questionable behavior, you should seek support from the local community.
Why does my child does not understand that the lie - it is not good?
Adolescence - a very difficult period in the life of every human being: he is trying to integrate into the society, said that he was unjustly criticized, do not understand or restrict his freedom.At this age, children are trying to look strong in the time when they are absolutely helpless.Teens face on its way to many potentially dangerous situations, which represent a challenge for them.Some children lie helps to cope with stress How to beat stress?Create an oasis , they get to adolescence.
According to the American Academy of the psychology of children and adolescents, the identity of the child lie - is not a reason for concern.But the constant lies and exaggeration require attention, but not all parents know how to react in such cases.
Many parents believe lies a moral problem, but psychologists say that it is not.If your child tells a lie, you are unlikely to change their behavior, reading him a lecture about why it is wrong.In most cases, the child does not take into account your words of wisdom.On the other hand, if you are still exposed the lie of the child, you should explain to him that all know.Spend a conversation with him and try to find out what problem it is now trying to solve.
Ask your child if he tries to avoid trouble?Does he think that it is easier to lie than to be afraid of offending someone?Did he really believe that a lie would help him to join the company?When a child will respond to all these questions, listen to him very carefully.
When children lie to get rid of trouble
Most children believe that it is advisable to lie, when there is some trouble.Lying seems to be the best solution at the moment.Once you understand what your child is trying to get the benefit, using the lie, you can help him and offer the best solution.If the child is lying, to avoid trouble, for example, he said that he brought garbage, but in fact it is not so easy to understand the rules of conduct specify it in your house and describe the consequences for violating these rules.
exaggerations and lies for the sake of falsehood
If the child is lying, not in order to avoid trouble, you may need to make a little effort to find out what's really going on.Try to start as follows: "I noticed that you often lie about things that for me personally seem strange.For example, when I asked you where the phone, you said you did not know, and you do not.Then I found it in your room.You would have been in trouble if you tell the truth.Can you explain why you lied? »
If your child is exaggerating when telling a particular story, you can ask the following:" I was interested to hear your story, but then it seemed to me that you started adding things to theactually occurred.Can you explain to me why you decided to do so? »
Of course, the child can not give you a sensible answer to these questions.Some teens just shrug their shoulders, and this from their point of view will be the best answer.But, pointing to the false morality without reading and lectures, you give your child to understand that cheating will not help him to get what he wants.Thus, you also give your child understand that you know that he was not honest with you.
Children often do not realize how much pain can cause false.But you have to convey to them that even if they do not know, it gives them the right to lie.Parents should start talking to your child about truth and lies, and find out why the child has decided to deceive them.And remember that you need to concentrate on the problem that tries to solve the child, rather than reading notations about lies.You may not be able to get the child to stop this daily lie, but you give him to understand that there are other ways to solve problems.