How early to recognize the child's sexual orientation: focus on performance
most difficult problem of psychosexual development of the child - the formation of sexual orientation, that is, of the erotic preferences, attraction to persons of the opposite (heterosexuality), its own (homosexual) or both sexes (bisexual).Sexual orientation - a complex and delicate matter to discuss with the child, but, nevertheless, there are signs of homosexuality can be defined in a fairly early age.
formation of homosexual orientation
formation of homosexual orientation goes through three stages:
- first informed of the erotic interest to the person of your gender before the first suspicions about his homosexuality;
- first suspicions about his homosexuality until the first homosexual contact;
- first homosexual contact to confidence in his homosexuality, followed by the development of an appropriate lifestyle.
duration of this process depends on the social environment and the individual characteristics.The peak of sexual experimentation accounts for dopubertatnogo age and the initial period of puberty.But psychologically the most dramatic adolescence.By analyzing their experiences, a boy with homoerotic tendencies reveals its difference from others.This gives rise to his acute internal conflict, fear and loneliness, preventing the establishment of psychological intimacy with other people and aggravating characteristic of this age of psychological difficulties.Some of the boys are trying to "protect" from homosexuality surface heterosexual, but more often it only exacerbates the internal conflict.The mental state and well-being of boys with incomplete psychosexual identity are significantly worse than those who, one way or another, this process is completed, they are more in need of psychological care, more likely to commit suicide attempts.
Parents and other adults influence the child's development, must be free from prejudices and understand that in the age of the formation dopubertatnogo sexual orientation is just beginning.Until age child sexual preferences can change.Parents should also remember that homosexuality - it is not a pathology to be treated, and the normal and common in the animal world.The homosexual is no shame, as in, for example, that your child - lefty Lefty: the gift, or the verdict? , or equally well with both hands owns or has other individual characteristics that require a special approach.
impossible to confidently assert that the signs of homosexual orientation, which are seen in a child before puberty Floorthe maturation of the baby - steps sophisticated way , persist in the future.It is human nature to change, which can be seen in children.But if you are concerned about the possible homosexuality of your child, and you want to be ready to help him to understand and accept their sexual orientation when it comes time to pay attention to the following indicators:
- Hypersensitivity, the desire to experience new sensations and experimenting
If a childwith heightened sensitivity reacts to certain external circumstances, his behavior will tell parents, if he had a predisposition to homosexuality.According to numerous studies, the boys (they used to awaken erotic feelings) before starting to explore their sexuality, and doing it with the other boys.Sexual games with peers, nudity, feeling the genitals, mutual masturbation, or group, unless they are involved adults, are not considered in the boys' companies, something scary or shameful.Not surprisingly, the awakening sensuality at first often met this way.In addition, sexual preference of the child often appear in games and some creative activities.Music, an obvious penchant for dance classes, singing and drawing, communication, motor development and language skills, the desire to represent others, to play musical instruments - all areas of development talents and abilities of the child, which with age may freely and most naturally manifest hissexual preference.
Note in which games your child loves to participate, especially with peers - they may be concealed clues as to what to expect in the future.Boys and girls prefer different toys (this stereotype, but that stereotype - this is a generalization) - of course, this can be partly explained by the fact that parents, guided by these stereotypes, buying cars for boys and girls - Doll.If you see that the child is the master himself finds the toy or toys, it will tell more about it.For example, if the boy measures the mother's clothes, shoes, cosmetics, and enjoys her spirits, and it happens more than once, most likely you will need to prepare for that in the future he will not acquainted with you girl and guy.
- endured pain and humiliation
child victims of sexual or domestic violence receive psychological trauma, which is a long and painful overcome that sometimes requires adjustment of the individual.The pain of the child eventually becomes dull, but resentment and inferiority is often for life.Thus, according to some theories, homosexual may be a consequence of sexual violence, which is experienced in childhood (especially boys).
- absence of the child's life role models and role models among adults
absence in the immediate environment of the adult child's sex, to which he might be, could affect the formation of the child's sexual orientation.Most often it refers to one of the parents (or both), which are even present in the child's life, emotionally absent - did not keep this baby word, did not fulfill its promises, the double standards practiced (you did what was forbidden child, for which hepunished).Such a situation may arise in the family when the child brings up only the mother or the father, or one of the parents suppress another.This behavior leaves the parents 'impression' on the psyche of a lifetime.The absence of an authority figure in a child's life will affect the formation of his sexuality Nine ways to experience their sexuality , since it will not have a clear pattern of behavior typical of his sex.
Sexual orientation in most cases is not a matter of free choice to change it is extremely difficult, if not impossible.But time is on your side, you have to show your child how you love, appreciate and understand.Remember that in the upbringing of the child Raising a child: who will win? should involve both parents.If possible homosexuality child inspires you fear, consult a professional psychologist to figure out that this is what scares you - you may find yourself one way or another, pushing a child in a hateful toward you.Teach your child to protect themselves and their interests in the future, he did not have to suffer from the attacks of their peers.The child must know that he can always count on you, count on your support and understanding in any situation, and regardless of sexual orientation.