First love: joy or injury for a lifetime?


  • first love: joy or injury for a lifetime?
  • How to prevent violence

first love First love is remembered for a lifetime, especially for girls.But for many of us these memories more than unpleasant.They chase us, and after graduation, prevent build normal relations with the opposite sex and to trust others because first love often leaves painful marks not only the soul but also the body.

Perhaps in a few years your abuser himself will find you in a social network and will offer to add it to friends.He probably does not even know how much suffering you have caused.In his memory your relationships are perfect, he remembers only the good.He does not understand that behaved abominably, and when you tell him how she felt at the time, he experiences a shock.Now he will have to live with the knowledge that in your eyes, he was a monster.

Meanwhile, psychologists say that a similar relationship between teenagers - is not uncommon.Many boys see the close relationship quite differently than girls, they have a different idea of ​​the violence.First of all, the violence may not only be physical but also psychological.Violence can be attributed a lot of non-physical effects, some of which will surprise you.

In addition, victims of violence are not only girls but also boys.And the behavior that many teenagers feel normal, in fact it is not.

But do not become a victim of an unworthy and unacceptable behavior is not too difficult, and the degree of intimacy in relationships (dating you constantly, occasionally, make friends or just spend time together) and sexual orientation do not matter.Forewarned - is forearmed.When you know what the psychological violence, can recognize its manifestations, a greater chance that the right time you will be able to oppose him, to protect themselves and others, and to avoid such problems in a mature relationship in the future.

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psychological partner violence among adolescents: what is it and when is happening?

According to statistics, each year about 9% of adolescents are victims of physical violence by a partner.But most of the violence among teens is not physical, but psychological.

The most common problems teens include:

  • Emotional abuse - intentional insult to the feelings of another person, humiliation partner.
  • Verbal abuse - shouting, swearing, threats, ridicule partner, his appearance, character or behavior.
  • monitoring - continuous monitoring by phone, checking e-mail and social networks (including without informing women), filtering of social contacts (specify with whom she can meet and with whom - no) and so on.

In addition, a serious form of psychological violence is the pressure or coercion to sexual behavior of any kind (including kissing, viewing pornography, etc.).

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Modern views

Unfortunately, psychological violence is so common that some teens may perceive it as normal.For example, recent studies have shown that young people are involved in sports, pay little attention to mistreatment during the sports season, and are less likely to intervene when witnessing such treatment.It's amazing how many teenagers - male and female - believe that a girl can lift a hand on a guy that is in order.

Remember scandal with Chris Brown and Rihanna that resounded all over the world a few years ago?So, it turned out that many adolescents do not believe that in this situation was to blame solely Brown.According to them, some of the blame lies with Rihanna ("she is to blame").The first reaction of many teenagers on the news of the singer's beating was the question "What did she do to bring him so?", Which was followed by other, equally indicative questions: "What kind of woman she is ?!Why did she provoke him? ".

Teens can do offensive things for many reasons.Some grow up in an environment that requires a man tour de force that boys are sometimes confused with aggression or domination and control.

Sometimes teenagers adopt adult habits that seem to them an expression of love, but in fact it displays the control (for example, require a password to have friends of their account in Facebook).But the jealous and controlling behavior can be the first step towards physical violence.In addition, teens who do not see nothing wrong with such behavior of friends is likely to themselves are prone to psychological and physical violence, or may become its victim.

Read more How to prevent violence