Children's jealousy be unique
why most children are very painfully react to the birth of a younger brother or sister?Many psychologists are inclined to explain this by saying that children perceive their family as a kind of comfortable private space, where they secured the love of the parents and all the good things of life such as toys and so on.Children's jealousy is a great test for both the little man, as for his parents, as to inflame the passions sometimes it is not inferior to adult jealousy.
Nothing catastrophic, and pathological jealousy in the children as such, no.This is quite normal.The child does not know how to manage their feelings and his desire to be unique in the eyes of the older members of the family is quite natural.On one of the female Internet forums elderly woman told the story of how thoroughly and delicately she and daughter preparing eldest grandson - a boy six years old - to the birth of the younger.That seems to be at first did not mind, and even has plans for the future, which was given to the place and little brother.But when the little brother brought home from the hospital and beginning to crowd around him all day long the whole family, preschooler broke down and said: "How long will this all take?Let's Bring it back to where they brought! ".
manifestations of children's jealousy
When the eldest child unfriendly refers to the youngest - for example, takes toys, trying to accidentally push, hit or some other way to offend - no doubt remains: This is the sibling rivalryin pure form.However, the jealous parents to a brother or sister, the child can not always show it outwardly, while in his heart at times played a real tragedy.
Children's jealousy can manifest itself in such seemingly unexpected forms, such as sleep disorders Dreams: how to understand our dreams and appetite, not eating, various fears: fear can suddenly appear dark, even though thethat before the baby safely asleep in a dark room.Sometimes the child becomes restless, inattentive, moody, for any reason, rolls prolonged tantrums.In fact, all of these ways, he is only trying to attract the attention of parents.The main thing - to see to it that it did not come to neurotic reactions like tics and stuttering Stuttering - when you need a comprehensive approach , and if these symptoms and have had an effect, do not delay a visit to a goodpsychotherapist.
can not scold the child for symptoms of jealousy.According to the American child psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Donald Woods Winnicott, it arises only because of the fact that children are very fond of their parents."The child does not show jealousy only when he is unable to love" - says Winnicott.
Sometimes the oldest child gets jealous of the youngest, not immediately after he was born, and after a while.This is especially the case during the so-called age-related crises: the first one, usually falls on the second or third year of life, and the second occurs in the fifth or sixth year.The child is gradually getting ready to become an independent person, but psychologically he was still very vulnerable and dependent on their parents and their relationship to it.
How to deal with sibling rivalry?
It would be better to say that a child's jealousy Jealousy and what to do with it not need to fight, but just gently and delicately reduce it to nothing.Many parents do wrong from a pedagogical point of view, suggesting an older child that he is now in front of the younger - solid commitments: he has to share his toys with him, to reckon with the fact that parents can not pay attention to it in the previous levels and so on.But it is much more reasonable to impose certain restrictions and for the younger child, for example, forbid him to take the toys without asking belonging older brother or sister.
It is important all the time to remind every child that is actually mom and dad do not make differences between them and love everyone equally.For example, if a family has two children, one should never compare them: one to criticize the benefit of another, or, conversely, to praise.And do not just impose older child nurse function, if you see that the appearance of the baby in the family caused him not very sensitive feelings.If he will feel surrounded by love, he himself wants to give her one another, including the new members of the family.