Parenting after divorce: the difficulties faced by
- Parenting after divorce: the difficulties faced
- Joint participation
No one comes down the aisle with the idea of divorce.This is a unique and romantic event often marred by reflections on litigation guardianship and financial issues.However, a divorce "happens" just when you least expect it.And misery is not only the couple, but also children who are afraid and do not know what to expect when their family is falling apart.So what can you do?When the divorce suddenly sneaked into your house, how can calm the children?How to protect their childhood, how they respond to direct questions and in the end, to help them move on in life?It is not an easy task, but you can help your children gradually.
- Take care of yourself: as a single parent, it is important you have a couple of trusted friends, in which you can expect to establish for themselves the spatial framework and priorities.
- Help your child to calm down: listen to their fears, share their problems.
- Give children the opportunity to be children: the temptation to turn to the child for comfort, but it hurts the hearts of the young and the children grow up quickly.
- Be ready to direct questions: Be prepared that your child asks you a question that can hurt you deeply, but you should not give up.Take a deep breath, sit down together and talk heart to heart.
- Believe in the future: all single parents are worried about their child and, in particular, that the same fate may befall him.As soon as you soothe children to see that history need not be repeated.
Take care of yourself
Shortly after the divorce, the mother or father raising a child alone, find that their lives have changed, and peace in the house no longer exists.Sometimes the days when you do not want to live, and only felt tired.
Many people need peace of mind and the world need to acquire.At first, it seems an impossible task.But step by step, you will notice a change for the better.As you begin to control the main areas of your life, the world will come back to you.
One option would be to visit the group therapy sessions, once or twice a week.
Another option could serve as conversations with other single parents.Together with other people experiencing the same feelings, a lot easier to deal with problems.
If you do not know how to find people like you, contact the psychological support or to the church (if you are religious), and ask it about a group of single parents.If such a group does not exist, create your own.Invite single parents attending your meeting in an informal setting a couple of times a month.So you can find a lot of friends who understand your suffering and will support you.
Do not neglect your needs
If you often fly a plane, you probably are familiar with the following statement: "If the cabin pressure began to fall, and you're flying with a child, the first thing put on the oxygen mask on yourself,and then to it. "
This approach is applicable to single parents.If you relax a little, overdo or ill, the care of children is incredibly hard.You hardly worried day and just exist.You need to relax, eat and fully engaged in fitness.
Sometimes it is very difficult to find time to exercise, especially if you have a busy schedule, but will learn to combine playing with children and sports.Walk with the children for a walk, roller-skating, dance under the video.All this will help you avoid the stress How to beat stress?Create an oasis and bring a lot of fun.
Learn to say "no»
In a world that is flying relentlessly forward, we sprayed all at once, and teach our children to this.If you take on too much, the risk of stress increases to the same tranquility you can not see.You must learn how to distribute the classes between you and your children.
Many parents lead kids on basketball, and soccer, and piano lessons that tires of all family members.Individually, all of these classes are very useful, but if there are too many, fatigue takes its toll.Each member of the family need time to rest, so do not do not get carried away.
to calmly deal with the finances, you need to control costs.Statistics warn that many families are suffering because of extravagance.
If you give your child the opportunity to save money on the things he needed, both on the road and on everyday purchases, you will soon notice the effectiveness of this method of saving.Moreover, you will not hear the phrase, "Mommy, Mommy, please, please ...!" When your kids save money, it will allow you to save about 40% on low-cost purchases and 50% - on the road.Especially because the child will not be allowed to spend money on stuff until it collects a certain amount that they need.
Organize family vacation
no doubt that single parents spend a lot of time with the kids, but it often happens that parents are busy at work, and the children spend time in the classroom, in shops or at home.
One option of uniting all members of the family of one occupation - the introduction of a general family evening.So, every Thursday you can spend time together - playing your favorite games and have fun with the kids.If the weather is nice, you can arrange a walk in the park.Time spent together strengthens family relationships.
sorry ex-husband / wife
This is the most difficult task.If you want to find inner peace, you must forgive the father or the mother of your children.Anger and unforgiveness "eat" you from the inside, and for a single parent is simply unacceptable.
you suffer every day and feel deprived of something important?Prioritize, choose exercises and practices that will help you change.Start slowly, with the most basic, and do not forget that everything is in your hands.