If a child uses bad language: recommendations parents
- If a child uses bad language: recommendations parents
Do not rush to grasp at the "soap", if your child uses a "dirty" word.But how to behave, if a son or daughter's statements cause a shock?
child and swearing
- you, "Why did not you do (a) lessons?»
- your child: "I hate this *** school.I can not stand *** teacher, he *** ".
- you: "Do not you dare talk to me like that!»
- your child: "Why?You, too, swear. "
Stop.This scene should be stopped immediately.You can see what your child is seeking?He's trying to provoke you into a fight.When a child uses abusive or obscene language, important for parents - to keep self-control and to resist the temptation to respond to his provocations.In this situation, my mother or father should say: "We are not talking about me, but about you.Why did not you do lessons?I forbid you to use your mobile phone as long as you do not do the lessons. "After that you should turn around and walk away without engaging in discussion, making it clear that the conversation was over.
If the child says, "Well, do not care", you should not take positions.Say: "Your business.You may not care as much as you, but you do not use a mobile, lessons until you do. "It is not necessary to enter into a dispute with a child in an attempt to assert his authority and parental rights.Later, when the child is calm, you can punish him for the use of swear words.Parents should be able to recognize when a child is using swear words, to give vent to emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code , and when he does it intentionally to cause irritation in adults or hurt them.Punishment depends on why and for what purpose the child uses the mat and curses.
Explanation: if a child is foul language in your address, he wants to hurt you, to get you off balance, make a dent in your self-control, or to provoke youthe scandal.Every family should be clear rules regarding the use of swear words to be followed by all, and, above all, themselves adults.
certainly has value to someone directing the flow of battle in a space (for example, a child is hurt or stumbled, and he blurted out a curse), or against a specific person, the mother or father.But in any case, this incident should not go unnoticed.Often children start using "indecent" words to give vent to emotions - anger, irritation, resentment.They can respond to you swearing if you're trying to get them to do something uninteresting, for example, to clean the room or do the dishes.
Parents need to understand that the use of swear words - it is a very immature way of expressing negative emotions.When a child is cool and calm, it is necessary to explain to him that the struggle is not only not solve its problems, and only add, because then they will have to deal with the consequences of their incontinence, for which punishment could be a ban on video games or deprivation of pocket money.
Insults have no excuse
In this regard, parents should demonstrate rigor and not a "thing down on the brakes": the child has to know that his bad behavior will not be tolerated.Bran tirade against the mother, father, brother, sister or any other family member - is not a separate sentence that fell from the child when he got burned, I dropped or upset.This verbal attack on another person, which usually paralyzes and demoralizes the interlocutor.
difference between a curse and abuse, insult, can be illustrated by an example already mentioned: "I hate this *** school.I can not stand *** teacher, he *** ".It is a curse.If the child replied: "Go ****, it's none of your business!", It would have been abuse, which can not be tolerated.When children use obscene words (especially words with sexual connotations) to the family, it is an insult, not just swearing.
Obscene insults not just indecent, they are humiliated and hurt his interlocutor, and therefore need to respond to them in the same way as any other offensive behavior.When a child offends his brother or sister obscene words, it should immediately stop because the duty of parents - to protect children from such attacks, even if they come from another child.
Do not be afraid to "overdo it" - the child needs to understand that this behavior is unacceptable.Put him under house arrest for a day, depriving him of the computer or video games, banned from going to the sports section during the week.Do not allow your child to manipulate you, do not give in to his entreaties, he "definitely need to go there," "check your e-mail" and so on.He must realize that there is no justification humiliation and punishment will be severe.
nothing terrible will happen if a child misses one or two classes in the section once again, or stay at home.Another effective method of punishment - deprivation of privileges, such as a ban on the use of mobile phones or other electronics.For example, you can tell a child: "I'm taking your video console and give you forty-eight hours of probation - if, during this time you will not use swear words, to get it back."Every time a child uses an expletive, the probationary period is shifted for some time (if he used profanity six hours later after the reference time period is extended to the six hours).
also ask the child to reflect on his behavior, in writing, to apologize to those whom he has offended, and to promise that it will not happen again.Such material, "documented" evidence will help the child in the future to restrain the rush to use swear words.
If the child is small
Typically, the main reason for the use of baby mat - the desire to attract the attention of parents.But children two to five years cursing unconsciously.Speech imitation peculiar young children along with other activities.Only after five years, the main motivation of the child becomes a rebellion against "as accepted": he uses swear words deliberately, knowing that it can not be done.
If your three year old uses swear words, you may want to pay attention to yourself?Parents should try to swearing never heard in the presence of a child from his birth, as children often do not even know the meaning of words that use.In this case you should calmly explain the meaning of words available to tell him that it's a dirty word, and say it, when they want someone to hurt.If the curse was the easy way out of aggression, you must teach your baby to show negative emotions without harsh words.You can not just forbid foul language, no arguing.Prohibition creates rebellion and gives a positive result.