- How to protect your child from the attacks of their peers: tips for parents
- joint problem solving
- Help Self-defense school
This is a real torture - to be the target of attacks peers.Many of us know this firsthand - someone teased in the garden, someone hid things in elementary school, and someone has suffered as a teenager.You have long grown up and become a mother, and now you terrifies the idea that your child can expect the same fate.
matter because of what the child is upset - he has taken away a toy, peers proved to stand with him in a couple, do not take it to the game, was not invited to a friend's birthday, man broke his nose, classmates teased ... The child is experiencing any of these incidentspainful, it needs the support and advice of their parents.Why contemporaries disliked him?How to behave in such a situation the parents?How to prevent the frustration and pain of a loved one?Do I need to teach you child to hit back or defend themselves it?Maybe peer ridicule and a
Somehow assumed that parents raise too much fuss about this phenomenon - think of the child being bullied, do not worry, the children will understand.But psychologists warn that it is a very dangerous delusion.
turns out that even at eighty years, we remember all the bullying and attacks, which were exposed in early childhood, the names of our offenders and the name of the one who protected us.Echoes of pain experienced in childhood, we feel throughout life.Fortunately, in our disposal there is information that will allow the attacks to stop bullying and peer, so why not use it?
How to tell whether a child being bullied at school or kindergarten
not expect that the child will come to you and say, "I was teased and bullied at school, the other kids called me bad words and take my things."Not all children can and want to tell their parents about their problems, and the older the child, the less likely that he would complain to parents on what is happening.If he says anything he does not - should watch him.
Parents should alert any change in a child's behavior.If a child is behaving unusually (for example, became secretive and brooding), possibly a reaction to the persecution of their peers.
Parents should look at the child, if he wants to go to kindergarten or school, avoid large crowds, returning to employment depressed, crying for no apparent reason, and rarely talks about what is happening in the kindergarten (school).If this happens frequently, most likely, he had an awkward relationship with their peers, and parents should intervene.
In addition, parents should pay attention to see if the child's body bruises, abrasions and scratches.Often children who are subjected to humiliation and harassment, harm themselves.Self-harm may also be a sign of a perfect child abuse.If the boy is afraid to go to the bathroom, it is often said that school or kindergarten tease his "blue", laughing at his penis or bullied in some other way.Since the bathroom there is only one way out, it is the perfect place to tease other children, arrange a "dark".When the boy is suffering the whole day and did not go to the toilet, it can cause serious diseases of the gastrointestinal tract.Watch the child if, after returning home from school or kindergarten, he immediately ran to the toilet, it can be a sign of harassment and bullying peers or older children.
If a child is behaving unusually - in whatever it manifested itself - should first think about whether it does not hurt other children at school or kindergarten.Even if abuse is not accompanied by physical abuse, the child still receives a strong trauma that can affect his whole life, if parents (or other adults) do not intervene in a timely manner.
What if the child complains that he hurt other children
If a child complains that his other children being bullied, teased or do not want to play with him, let him speak.In no case do not stop it, do not say: "Perhaps you are to blame, can not they stick to you just like that."This mistake made by many parents.Do not assume that the child is his own fault that it hurt, and certainly do not try to instill this idea to him.Bullying rarely cause or logical explanation, and the child does not matter why it hurt - is important to him that this was happening to him.
Listen carefully to the child, not condemning it in advance for a hypothetical bad behavior.Let him talk.Do not try to solve the problem immediately or declare that there is no problem.Ask the child what happened, why it happened so hooked and hurt.Try to learn more about the offender (or offenders) your son or daughter, who he is, how long have they known, in which they respect.
No need to rush to condemn the offender, and exclaim, "Oh, what a bad boy (girl)!", Because you know only one version of events.Most likely, the child is waiting for a violent reaction from you, indignation and fury, does not expect that you immediately throw yourself to deal with his abuser.He just needs to know that you always listen to him and that his life is important to you.When the child has finished the story, you can take the next step, depending on whether you want your intervention or not.
If parents are too rapidly respond to the child's story will begin to resent or rush to revenge the offender, the child may take a back seat and go into myself.In most cases, a child can deal with offenders without interference from adults (parents should not intervene directly, but only to help with advice), and if the mother will accompany him relentlessly on the playground or in the garden, it will do little to improve relations with their peers.And more on its frankness you do not have to count.