How to talk to your child about sexual violence: a heart to heart conversation
duty of parents - to protect and safeguard the children, to teach them not to get into dangerous situations and how to behave if it all happened.Sexual harassment and abuse of children is much more common than you might think.Every year in the world is fixed 80 thousand cases of child sexual abuse, but the number of unreported episodes much more because children are afraid to tell what happened.
Parents who believe that much of a child sexual abuse is not threatened, are in a dangerous delusion, which can cause great harm to their family.According to statistics, over 60% of rape victims are minors.According to the National Center for Victims of Violence (National Center for Victims of Crime), about 33% of women (that is, every third) before reaching the age of majority at least once been subjected to sexual violence.Similar statistics for men at least shocking - victims of sexual abuse are more than 16% (ie about one-sixth).Most often subjected to rape teenagers, but not less than a quarter of cases falls on children under seven years.These alarming figures show that parents should take an active part in the life of the child and teach him how to avoid potentially dangerous situations and how to act if they are threatened with sexual assault.
Such violence is often committed not by strangers, but by people well known to the child, parents, stepfathers, relatives or other persons not belonging to the family, such as a friend, a neighbor, a teacher, a teacher.According to statistics, 85-90% of cases the offender is well known to the child, and only 10-15% of rapes are committed by strangers.In the case of abuse, the child develops anxiety feelings, thoughts and behavior.No child is psychologically not prepared for cases of repeated violence.Even two, three years of a child who does not know that such actions are unacceptable, there are problems that appear on its inability to cope with excessive irritation.
Tips for parents
children five years and older, who know the offender and related personal relationships, forced to choose between love and loyalty to the man, and the knowledge that such relationships are unacceptable.If a child tries to break the relationship, the abuser may threaten violence or lack of love.When violence happens in the home, the child may fear the anger, jealousy Jealousy and what to do with it or shame of other family members, thinking that the family is destroyed, if everyone will know about it.A child who is constantly exposed to sexual abuse usually develops low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness and misconceptions about sex.Teenager ceases closed, does not trust adults and has a tendency to suicide.
first talked about sex, parents often immediately warn children about the dangers of sexual abuse, but do it in such strong terms that it is impossible for them not to seethe fear felt by mothers and fathers.Therefore, children often try to hide the sexual harassment or violence from their parents, and at the same time feel guilty, because afraid to upset my mother or father.
Child psychologists recommend originally installed with a child relationships based on trust in all that relates to sex.Then he react to parental warnings about sexual abuse with a greater understanding, not a sense of guilt or fear.
Parents should try to give the child understand that his body belongs only to him and no one else.Explain to your child that he is not required for someone to hug or kiss, if you do not want it.This approach to teaching a child preventive measures to prevent sexual violence more effectively than serious warnings, which are based on fear.
Give your child understand that never one adult must not touch his genitals, and everything in between his legs, to ask him to undress so that there is something to see (if it was not a medical examination at his office in the presence ofparents or with their permission).If someone ever under any circumstances, touch any place on his body, takes his camera or video camera, and no one asks him not to talk about it, it should definitely talk about it.Ask your child to tell you about every case, when someone touched him in a way that made him feel strange or uncomfortable.In addition, you must warn the child that if a stranger approached him with a request to (help to find an address, lost pets or to help to get home), the child should immediately go home and tell an adult.
Some parents tell children that touch other people to their body may be "good" and "bad."But the child is sometimes difficult to understand than the "good" touch different from the "bad."A pedophile can all imagine, so that the concept of "good" and "bad," it will only benefit.
One of the most reliable ways that can help you teach a child to confront sexual violence, is to spend time with him as much as possible.Children suffering from a lack of parental attention are more likely to show interest in the attention that can give them a rapist.Criminals of this kind are very well aware of children and easily master the attention of those who lack such attention at home, or those who have accumulated a lot of questions about sex, which they can not find answers.Such people are quick to trust them, they are able to empathize with them and understand them, becoming a model for them adult to which they are drawn.
Unfortunately, even the most conscientious and attentive parents can not completely protect your child from sexual abuse - too many factors that can not be controlled.However, parents are able to give children the support that will help them not to succumb to the tricks of the criminal.Straight Talk and love can save you and your child from pain and suffering.