We all compare ourselves with others.Media for twenty-four hours a day tell us about the beautiful, rich, talented people, creating the impression that we all know them personally.And because we compare ourselves with those who know many of us it seems own insignificance in comparison with others, that is an inferiority complex.
inferiority complex - is the general feeling that you are worse than others, do not meet a certain standard, and practically flawed.It is very important to distinguish between "feeling" and "know."For example, you can know that you are much poorer than Bill Gates, you are very far from the level of intellectual development to Stephen Hawking, the world and that there are millions of men who find you attractive enough.This objective knowledge that can not worry you at all.In fact, everyone knows that in some way he is worse than others, and it does not affect his life and attitude.A man with an inferiority complex feeling that it is worse than others, although objectively
reasons inferiority complex
inferiority complex rooted in the following views:
- You have to be as good as other people.
- you feel that you are worse than others, though not understand why.
As a result, there is a feeling that is not based on sound judgment, and in many ways this is why it has a lot of power over man.The reasons for which a person may experience similar views, are very diverse.For example, some people of their own parents since childhood say they are somewhat worse than others (for example, criticized the appearance of his daughter, comparing her with the other).Excessive parental care can also cause an inferiority complex - the person does not learn to make their own decisions, and when it detects that the majority of people are more or less well able to do it, he develops psychological problems.The presence of physical defects, even minor, sometimes also leads to inferiority complex - especially if the person because they teased at school if they are constantly reminded of the parents.
inferiority complex and behavior
- Overcompensation - is one of the most famous defense mechanisms of the psyche.A person suffering from an inferiority complex, it may try to suppress others, showing by his behavior that he is better than them.
- barriers.As a person with an inferiority complex says that it is much worse than the others, it can begin to create barriers that prevent people around to see his flaws - real or imaginary.Such barriers can serve as an unsociable and arrogant behavior, and significant achievements that occur in spite of the complex.Often people with an inferiority complex trying to be the best in everything, so as not to give others a chance to see their shortcomings.At first glance, it's not bad, but in fact such a person never really does not enjoy success - he continues to think about how to hide from the rest of their weaknesses and barriers around it are higher and stronger.
- anxiety.If a person can not build barriers around them, it starts to operate a different mechanism - anxiety.Because anxiety anxiety - how to distinguish normal from disease? person avoid people and situations that remind him of his inferiority complex - for example, in public appearances, dating the opposite sex, and so on.
- increased sensitivity to criticism.Many people barely tolerate criticism - even the most constructive, but from the point of view of the person with an inferiority complex criticism - is a successful attempt to disclose its own nullity.So he, if possible, try not to hear criticism, and if that fails, it will be hard to deny what he is told.
How to cope with inferiority complex
find the specific reasons why you think you are worse than others.Do not rest until you get away from you the answer to the question "what exactly are you worse?";also necessary to understand that one is worse than you think yourself.You can not be the worst of all - the planet seven billion lives of very different people.A comparison with some people it makes you feel worthless?With rich?Talented?Beautiful?What's the name of these people?If you come to the conclusion that he considered himself worse than beauty from next door, decide exactly what it is better than you, then - you're better than her.For example, it is objectively more beautiful, slimmer you, she has more fans, but you can have a higher level of education, a prestigious job, you are much more likely to travel.Chances are good that a few things of what you have, it might even be envied.Even more likely, that as soon as you call the specific reasons for his "nothingness", they will seem frivolous.Indeed, it is one thing - to consider themselves worse than all, and quite another - to worry about what you're not as slim as your neighbor.
Refuse imitations.Yet no matter whose gravestone did not write 'Here lies Maria.It was no worse than his neighbor. "Wanting to be someone normal in fifteen years, but after twenty it is a sign of psychological immaturity.Inferiority complex thrives in the hearts of people who want to be someone else, but not themselves.Meanwhile, it is a difficult, but much more interesting and, ultimately, only it can make your life really full.
Dare to be different.At 21, you need to finish college, 25 - have a job and be married, no later than 27 - to have their first child, a 30 - second.This is only part of the requirements, which makes us a society.We compare ourselves with the standard and, if we find a lot of differences, we begin to consider themselves inferior.But society demands it from us in order for us to become happy, and that we were comfortable, predictable citizens, taxpayers and consumers.There is nothing wrong to be so, but if you know you want to live differently, that is no reason to consider themselves inferior.