Daughter-in-law, and: safety rules
Almost all girls dream of marrying a loved one and live with it happily.But over time, it is clear that with the dearly beloved husband in the girl's life and includes a new family - father-in-law.And if her father usually do not actively intervene in the life of a young family, it is possible-in-law problem.How to build a relationship with the mother of her husband?
What are in-law
All people are different, and in-laws also differ from each other.But in general, there are three main types of in-law:
- malevolence.Perhaps she subconsciously jealous of his son to the daughter.Perhaps she believes that her dear son is worthy of the best of the party.Maybe she envies the youth and beauty of the bride.Whatever the reason, such in-law was a malevolent.It can ignore the wife of his son, to talk to her by fiat tone constantly sarcastic, rude, or gossip about daughter;
- goodwill.It would seem - is ideal.Such in-law dating from the first day the daughter calls her daughter, takes care of her, trying to help a young family.But friendly in-law has its drawbacks: a lady can literally "strangle" their care.Not every daughter like it if someone would always give her advice (of course, the best of intentions), to get out of her closet and all kinds climb in family life;
- indifferent.Perhaps this in-law loves his son, but maybe just happy that he grew up and went off to raise a family.By-law as it is in any case true is immaterial.From her not to wait for help, but the gossip about daughter-in-law this will not be - simply because her son's wife to have no case.
How to get along with her mother in law
easiest to maintain in-law a good relationship with the separation.Joint life often leads to conflict, and it is quite natural, not for nothing that they say that two housewives in one kitchen, do not get along.But unfortunately, not all the young couples can afford just a single housing - even if removable, so many women have the experience of living together with her mother in law.
Coming into the apartment in-law, do not try to set their own rules there.It is unlikely that this behavior will approve in-law, no matter how loving they may be.It unequivocally recognize excellence-in-law, never to argue with her, smile and show respect.Of course, it is quite difficult, but if you do not have their own homes, it can not be choosers.The house-in-law will always be a mistress - herself the mother in law.The young wife can only accept and struggled to motivate the wife to earn money for his own apartment.
Live with mother-friendly - a pleasure: she will take care of all the chores, always support, always ready to help with money and food.But do not abuse the courtesy-law, it is also better to try to help as much as possible.It is best not to complain at his mother-spouse.In general, it should be remembered that in-law - not a girlfriend, and she is not telling the whole story about yourself.Also, it is desirable to constantly demonstrate their gratitude to her.If
concern seems excessive in-law, tell her about it very hard: hints she may not understand, but on the direct word - offense.It is better if her own son talk, and do not focus on the fact that the aid is not needed in-law, and that it needs to keep power.
with an indifferent mother in law also is relatively easy to get along: the main thing - not to fall into her eyes and did not break the habitual rhythm of her life.No noise at night, no dirty dishes in the sink, no scattered things.Dealing be polite as possible to offer, but do not impose help.
Unsympathetic destroyed more than one-in-law marriage.There is little not to fall into her eyes - she burst into the room and tell you what a bad wife chose her son.It is better not to argue, in all humility and demonstrate seek every opportunity to get away from the in-law until she ruined the relationship.Well, if her son to explain to my mother that she was wrong, but hopes for such educational measures slightly.
Many brides are unhappy that the mother in law does not help them.But this discontent is completely groundless: personal in-law should neither his son, nor, especially, his wife.It is not necessary to bring in-law has some specific requirements, and then chat with her will not bring disappointment.If the parents are living separately from her husband of a young family, enough several times a year to visit them or to invite, without entering into a closer relationship.
afar is always easier to establish a relationship.During a rare visit to her mother in law should radiate kindness and respect, ask the husband's mother tips, admire it cooked dishes and make every attempt to make friends.Friendship-in-law are possible, you just try.It is not necessary to consistently demonstrate its rights to her son - even nerevnivy-law is unlikely to be thrilled by such behavior.It is desirable to flirt with in-law - it is something, perhaps like, but in-law may be very unhappy, both for himself and for his son.
We should not curry favor in-law - a calm and confident demeanor is much more attractive.Courteous treatment, calm conversations about everything, gifts for holidays and other ritual gestures allow to establish relations with the mother of her husband.If the hard-law does not go to the contact, it is better to stop trying to win her.In this case it is necessary to maintain formal relations, but not to present expensive gifts-in-law, and not to impose her intimate conversations.