Shyness is not a vice?
Shyness - the property of the psyche, in which a person experiences a hesitation, stiffness and strength when dealing with people, and that can interfere with academic and professional achievements.While shyness is not a disease, it can lead to serious problems in life.
The most common is a situational shyness - people experiencing indecision only in certain situations, such as when he has to speak in public, to speak with the authorities, or the authorities (and teachers), to organize the activities of other people and make new friends, especially whenromantic feelings to the people he meets.More rare is a chronic form of shyness, in which a person begins to feel uncomfortable in almost any situation where he has to interact with people.In such cases, experts say social phobia - this may eventually lead to the isolation of a person, and a number of serious psychological problems.
Chronic shyness must be distinguished from introversion.Introverts do prefer to spend time alone and choose activities that you can do yourself, but do not fear social interaction.Chronically shy people are dissatisfied with their isolation, they would like more contact with the outside world, but they are hampered by uncertainty and fear.
In recent years, the number of people who indicate that they are suffering from some form of shyness How to win your shyness? , is constantly increasing.According to a recent research, about 50% of people suffer from varying degrees of shyness.Many of them experts call "shy extroverts" - these people are talking a lot, but deep down, they feel hesitant that they constantly have to overcome.From social phobia affects about 13% of people - it has become the third most common psychiatric disorder.Doctors note that shy people there is an increased risk of developing mental disorders such as anxiety disorder or depression Depression - a little more than a bad mood .
main factors that contribute to the increase in the number of people who suffer from excessive sensitivity, experts call a culture and technology.Today the cultural changes taking place due to the increase of crime (for example, children begin to walk on their own in an increasingly older age, culture yard where children were playing together of several houses, and from an early age learn social interaction disappears, and in some places have already disappeared)and also because of the decrease in the average number of family members (children less brothers and sisters with whom they could hone communication skills).This led to the fact that even adults can not be confident enough to communicate with others.This is facilitated by new technologies.
In Western countries, schoolchildren and university students spend a lot of time playing computer games, "wandering" on the Internet and communicating through social networks.Very soon becomes an adult generation, whose members already in adolescence often wrote emails than phone calls, used to do a lot of things without the mediation of a person (to pay bills, buy tickets, book Hotels), and poorly imagine my life without gadgets.As a result, normal human communication skills they have developed bad.Of course, even the normal person who is the lion's share of free time as a child held by pressing a button, be able more or less to communicate effectively - developing sociopathy not all.However, it is likely that he would feel uncomfortable, which is not compatible with full, open communication.
New technologies and cultural changes - are external causes of shyness, which may change.The deep, internal reasons remain unchanged:
- misconception about yourself.Shy people tend to consider themselves worse than others, and do not see their own good qualities.They can be admired by others, but do not realize that they themselves are unique individuals, even when they have enough talent expressed.Some of them try to hide shyness bold, sometimes even arrogant behavior, but they have to spend a lot of energy, but inside they are still extremely insecure people.
- Excessive concern him.When the shy person is surrounded by other people, it seems that all looking at him, watching his actions and discuss his every move.They can take into the account any words and laughter that is heard.As a result, they try to do everything as best as possible, but due to stress How to beat stress?Create an oasis make mistakes - real or imaginary, and the problem is only getting worse.
- Labeling.When a man considers himself a shy man, he tries to behave accordingly.Moreover, he knows that he and those around him believe (which is usually the case), and from that, his self-doubt only increased.
How to cope with shyness
- Turn concern is in awareness.Recognize that in fact no one was watching your every action.Most people are too busy to constantly pay attention to someone else.Pay attention to your own thoughts and emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code : Observe how changing your condition when you find yourself among a large number of people, and try to consciously replace other disturbing thoughts.
- find their strengths.When you find, start to develop them, and every day they pay their attention once again to make sure that the unique and talented are not only others but also yourself.
- Focus on other people.Instead of thinking about what will think of you start to really listen to other people, getting to know them, learn from them something new.If you are confused glances or words of a man, ask yourself what you like about him.It will distract you and you will not be so negative about a person who probably looked at you just like that.
- Recognize that you can not please everybody.Someone from others you will surely not like, but that's no reason to be upset.Do not focus on this, better remember how many people told you compliments, and what you have wonderful friends.In the end, you will find that the installation of "I do not care about your opinion" is not so bad, and great help cope with shyness.