Family quarrels and their consequences - can glue the broken dishes?
- Family quarrels and their consequences - can glue the broken dishes?
- By all
Couples who never conflict with each other, are extremely rare.As a rule, family quarrels - a normal part of the life of any "cell of society."But the conflict divisive conflict: sometimes quarreling behave properly and constructively, and sometimes - aggressive and cruel.Some quarrels are forgotten almost immediately, while others delayed and lead to divorce.
Because of what is usually the wife quarrel?The most common cause of conflict - money.If a husband and wife have different attitudes to money, it will not be easy to agree with each other.And if they do not even make an effort to reach an agreement, quarrels are inevitable.
Frequently wife quarrel over their relationship.This power struggle and an attempt to draw attention to themselves, and suspicions of infidelity and lack of understanding.Many partner manipulated using the argument: for example, the scandal can be a great excuse to break the relationship, say, or care booze.And many usefully use guilt partner after an argument.
Sometimes the cause of the quarrel is a third person.Most often it is their own children, attitudes to education which the spouses may vary.Often the cause of quarrels becomes interference in family life some of the parents of the spouses.
possible to avoid a quarrel
believed that loving wife never quarreled.Meanwhile, according to psychologists, the complete absence of quarrels and signals more unnatural or mutual indifference spouses to each other, or the suppression of one spouse to another.
Whatever people love each other, they can always disagreements - minor or serious.Of course, such differences do not necessarily lead to conflict: sometimes you just calmly discuss the problem and find a compromise that did not quarrel broke out.However, if the couple has accumulated mutual irritation and fatigue, even the most insignificant occasion can lead to a quarrel.
reason to quarrel must be distinguished from its causes.Sometimes, if the family has accumulated some unresolved issues, the scandal could break out because every detail.For example, a wife, a jealous husband, but does not show his jealousy Jealousy and what to do with it , can yell at him because of the things scattered everywhere.Or, husband, wife patiently razing habit to squander the family money, arranges scandal because of the lukewarm afternoon.
So the easiest way to minimize the number of quarrels - to solve problems as they become available, and often talk about their feelings.Do not expect that the husband will develop telepathic abilities, and he guessed that he should do - much better to tell about their needs or claims in plain text.And then there is a possibility that stimulation will not accumulate for a long time, then to cause a family quarrel.
During an argument
believed that when a man mired in anger, it is almost unable to control their feelings.However, the state does not affect meets as often as it seems to many.In most cases, a person does not lose control of himself in full: for example, very few dare to clash with the authorities, or even their own bosses - in this situation, the anger magically manage to subdue.And in family quarrels about the complete loss of control of a voice does not usually go, judging by the fact that the parties to the conflict are usually safe and sound.
Of course, everyone has the right to feelings, including feelings and negative and destructive.But these feelings should be civilized.For example, instead of yelling at the house, you can wash the floors in the house.And instead slapped her husband slaps, costs a little beat his pillow.
During an argument can not:
- generalize from one particular act spouse to make far-reaching conclusions;
- recall past wrongs;
- insult and humiliate the opponent;
- Destroy furniture, dishes and beat spoil things;
- Engage in physical abuse (better to beat the dishes);
- accept hasty decisions;
- threaten divorce.
- Talk about your own feelings;
- Understand partner;
- seek a compromise and a way out;Search
- reasonable argument;
- Refrain from explanation of the relationship in the presence of children.
After a quarrel
During an argument many people can not help but do not slander your loved one evil and hurtful words.But the anger passes, and becomes ashamed of his outburst.But many do not dare to ask for forgiveness, because they think it means to completely abandon the protection of his interests.
This is not so.It is not necessary to take full view partner some question of principle, but need to apologize for being rude.To apologize first?Typically, the initiator of reconciliation is the one to whom the relationship is more expensive.Or one who is wise.And when apologies are accepted, you can go to the calm discussion of the subject quarrels and look for compromise solutions.
situations when after a quarrel one spouse apologizes and the other catches it in his arms, forgetting about the conflict often found in melodrama, but very rarely - in real life.More often, both spouses need some time to cool off.And only after that we manage to come to some decision, and make peace with each other.
Not every quarrel leads to divorce.And yet, if the couple began to quarrel frequently than before - it is a serious reason to wonder what happened to the relationship.It is very dangerous sign - the quarrel in the presence of strangers.Usually couples trying "not to wash dirty linen in public" and not to sort things out in public.If, however, even in the presence of others can not keep anger, it often indicates a crisis in the relationship.
If your partner is aggressive, then quarrel with him can be dangerous: in the heat of passion a person can not stop at nothing.In this situation, need expert help.