Jealousy: rules of survival
What is jealousy?Many believe that it is necessarily accompanied by a feeling of love.For others, jealousy has nothing to do with love.In any event, the manifestation of this strong negative emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code , tend to be very spoiled life as someone who is jealous, and the one whom jealous.How to get rid of jealousy and survive near jealous?
What is jealousy
Jealousy is familiar, probably everyone.Psychologists say that it is a negative feeling comes first love.For example, young children are mostly very jealous.They frankly admit that they want to make the world revolves around them, and strongly opposed the birth of siblings.A great place is jealousy in the relationship of the pair.
In fact, jealousy - a claim to the right to fully enjoy some man.Jealous people are very difficult to survive if their beloved paying attention to somebody else.Interestingly, many jealous do not need proof of treason: they come from their own feelings of lack of love, respect and sympathy.
Enough jealousy rarely produces positive effect: people "feel in good shape" and tries to prove that he is better than the opponent.But more often jealousy destroys relationships: feeling painful for both jealous and for his loved one.
Sometimes jealousy can make painful form.Brad jealousy - a condition when a person is obsessed with the idea that he change.It is a mental disorder usually occurs in men over forty years, often - against the background of alcohol abuse or sexual problems.Painful jealous does not listen to any arguments and ignores the evidence of loyalty to his wife;it may frequently be aggressive.This disorder should be treated by a psychiatrist because the patient may be socially dangerous.
Even ordinary jealous can be dangerous to others: first of all - for the object of his jealousy, and actual or potential competitor or rival.Jealousy - one of the most common motives for murder.Interestingly, women more often aggression is directed at an opponent, while the men are accused of betraying his unfaithful lover.Some jealous in no blame his half - instead, they are immersed into a depression Depression - a little more than a bad mood or even commit suicide Suicide in terms of psychiatrist - can it be prevented? .
methods of getting rid of jealousy
Augustine once said that there is no love without jealousy, and millions of people believe this statement.But even La Rochefoucauld argued that only one percent of jealousy and love ninety-nine percent of self-love.Honore de Balzac wrote that jealousy - a mixture of pride, selfishness and vanity.Modern psychologists are inclined to the view that jealousy - a child of uncertainty.The higher the self-esteem of man than he is confident in yourself - the less he fears loss and the less jealous.
The more love in the human heart, the less room for us to fear and jealousy.Working on yourself will help get rid of these unpleasant feelings.There are special techniques to enhance self-esteem, and if you constantly engaged in self-development, the results are not long in coming: self-confidence required to increase, and therefore leave fears.
Sometimes jealousy is based on affection, excessive dependence on a partner.In this case, not enough work to increase self-esteem, you also need to acquire independence and learn to self-sufficiency, is gradually moving away from a partner.Many believe that such distancing is the end of love, but it is not so.True love can only occur between free people who are united and not fear of being alone is not able to meet the expense of a partner some needs, but only the desire to make a loved one happy.The relationship is based on the emotional dependence of one partner by the other, can not be called healthy.In order to harmonize such relations should refer to specialists.
When jealousy justified
life with the wrong partner - a serious test.And although in some societies to infidelity (especially men) are quite tolerant, knowledge that a loved one gives love to someone else, quite painful.In this situation, jealousy entirely justified, but it does not have the feeling pleasant and constructive.
What to do in such a situation?You can leave the wrong partner.You can change your attitude to infidelity as such, that is, to recognize the right to a favorite infidelity.You can try to do something about the relationship and "save" them with a psychologist or independently.The only thing in this situation should not do - so this is tormented by pangs of jealousy.
How to survive with jealous?
If the relationship is just beginning, and the loved one is constantly jealous - this is a serious reason to think about whether to continue the relationship.Communicate with diffident man is not easy at all, and to communicate with aggressive jealous even harder.The simple solution - do not give cause for jealousy, but it does not always work: sometimes jealous people sincerely worry due to past and even the future of hypothetical changes and do not need any additional occasions.
How to behave better?
- Do not admit infidelity even as a joke;
- desirable as often as possible to talk to the partner about his love and what was amazing;
- can try to behave in the same way as a partner, for example, constantly phoning him on the phone to control.It may seem absurd jealous of his actions or more will distract him - he will be justified, and not to prosecute;
- should remember that jealousy is usually manifest by those who themselves is wrong - in reality or in dreams;
- If jealousy only intensified over the years, it is worth thinking about the need family therapy.