Love and her father-in-law, but can not stand when they interfere with your life with their advice, particularly in relation to child rearing?Unsolicited advice on child-rearing, and so hard to swallow, but when they take the form of criticism of your methods of education, it is easy to break and give the relatives of her husband all that you think about them.So what do you do in this situation: turn the other cheek or politely disagree?
Be prepared for the fact that my husband's parents sooner or later express their opinion about your parenting methods of their precious grandson, the criticism can be everything: diet, toys, bedtime Dreams: how to understand our dreams , books that you read to the child.Your first reaction to this intervention will be rough, and this should be expected, but this behavior can cause more harm than good.There are some tactics to help you get out with dignity difficult and potentially conflict.
tactics №1: do not attach importance to criticism
If you want to keep peace in the family, the best way out - to ignore the criticism, not giving it a value.Your response to the unsolicited advice - instead of indignation or outrage - must become a welcoming smile.Smile and tell them that you appreciate advice, but will not use them until they consult with a pediatrician.After that you should change the subject by moving the conversation in a safe direction.There is no point in trying to convince her husband's relatives in the right - it is useless.Each will remain in his opinion, even if they are given a compelling case.
But remember that your words - is not the only thing that will accept in-law.Follow gestures, facial expressions and gestures - body language often gives our emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code .You should not roll his eyes or suffering disapproval prim lips.Look at the situation positively and with understanding parents of your husband - it is the grandparents of your child, and they love it as much as you.
tactics №2: mind ... with respect
If you do not give anyone the descent and did not miss the opportunity to express their views, do not bite the tongue to him not to break too much.The main thing - not an opinion, but how it is expressed.Unless you flew with brakes in anger, try to respond to her husband's parents' advice with tact and respect.For many women, unwanted advice and interference-in-law - like a red rag to a bull.But try to look at the situation through the prism of her desire to feel useful and involved in family affairs.Well, you have not drawn a scandal and go for confrontation?
-law politely thank you for your interest and wise advice, and then explain that you need to understand yourself, because you prefer to rely on their own experience.So you meet the needs of comment, not profit themselves blood enemies.
tactics №3: Be willing to compromise
Sometimes the view of a stranger, so to speak, a fresh look from the side, helps in another way to look at the situation, including the education of children.Even when the conversation turns to the individual, and the criticism is too harsh, try to listen without prejudice.You may find that advice husband's parents are not deprived of common sense.It will also give you the ability to recover from such a feat, as the preservation of peace in response to criticism of the mother-in-law - survival strategy .
tactics №4: seek support for her husband
If you feel that you just are not able to listen to criticism of your methods of upbringing by the mother in law, do not answer it directly.Take time out and call her husband.Calmly, without insults and accusations, tell him what you think about the adverse comments.Ask your husband to fulfill the role of mediator in the following conversation with his parents, because your words, they can be perceived as insulting or justification.
Even if you feel that your patience coming to an end, and you can no longer tolerate criticism of the method you choose education, remember that the relatives of her husband are the best of intentions (most likely).You can always pretend that you are going to follow the advice, and then make fun of him in the company of friends.Nobody will force you to do something against your will.In the end, you - mother, and once you make the final decision regarding the education of your child.