How to increase self-esteem - take care of yourself
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Low self-esteem has a negative impact on all aspects of life, including interpersonal relationships, work and health.Fortunately, this can be overcome, and this does not always require a psychologist.Those with low self-esteem, can cope with this by means of the efforts of his own mind.
Identify triggers, low self-esteem
Probably, you do not always assess their abilities low, or - not always equally low.Realize what specific situations under which conditions your self-esteem is particularly low.The most common triggers are: important talks on the work (especially if they are directly related to the project for which you are responsible), crisis situations at work and in personal life, difficulties in relationships with loved ones, colleagues;changing life circumstances (such as loss of work, care of children at home, divorce, and so on).
aware of their thoughts about these situations
When you find out exactly when you start actively to belittle himself in his own eyes, begin to realize that you think at the same time - what do you say to yourself as interpret the situation, andetc.In general, these ideas can be divided in negative, positive and neutral as well as rational and irrational.Man rarely gives himself a full or even close to the full report in their thoughts.Meanwhile, the other layers of your personality - apart from consciousness - take them all, and no one thought so, is not lost.
Get rid of negative thoughts and irrational
The way you used to think - not the only way to think about the situation.Noting the negative and / or irrational thoughts, ask yourself - why do you think so?It is possible that many of these thoughts are without factual basis and are not only useless but also harmful.In particular, attention should be paid to the following thought, lowering self-esteem:
Black and white thinking
Such thoughts divide the world and all its multi-faceted phenomenon in black and white, good and bad.For example: "If I can not handle this job, I'll absolute loser", "My husband left me, so I do not need anyone", and so on.Check out these thoughts on logic and remember that the whole can be found both good and bad.The lack of ability to see it - one of the causes of low self-esteem.
Mental filters force you to focus on the negative aspects of your personality, lifestyle, and so on."I made a mistake in the report and now it is clear that I am not fit for this job" - or so thinking about so that people with low self-esteem turns a blind eye to the fact that he was on to something hired and paid a salary, and thathe has achievements that colleagues and superiors notice as well as mistakes.
Turning to the merits of the shortcomings
person with low self-esteem persistently denied that he was capable of something good, useful, outstanding.For example, if a man is praised for a job well done, he said: "I failed, because it was very easy."Take praise with pleasure and always agrees that you - well done.This significantly raises the self-esteem.
hasty negative conclusions
«My friend did not reply to my letter, it means that he is for something angry with me" - a typical example of such thinking.From the moment of sending the letter could pass only a few hours, and conclusions have been made.Low self-esteem may encourage the person to send the following letter - with an apology for some unknown reason.The same response should be for when a person thinks that it is somehow strange look or talk about him behind his back.He is in a hurry to draw conclusions - and never made them in his favor.
Thoughts belittle the person
Whoever has reduced self-esteem, sincerely believes that he is worse than the other;He attributes his success to anything other than its own efforts, and if the failures said to myself that the best he does not deserve.Track
such thoughts and replace them with more reasonable.When you praise for the work, recalled how much effort you cost this result;If your letter does not respond, think that this can be many reasons - the person away from the computer, the Internet is disabled, and so on.And as often as possible, repeat to yourself that you deserve the best.