Self-doubt: what is to blame for "The Ugly Duckling"?
realistic picture of their abilities, self-confidence and self-esteem have a direct impact on our thinking and behavior, relationship with other people and life success.Self-confidence does not mean permissiveness and lack of any taboos and restrictions.Just confident people are different from insecure because it does not nourish unrealistic expectations and empty hopes.Even if some of their expectations are not met, they remain optimistic and confident in their abilities.
What is confidence?
Self-confidence manifested in the positive, but realistic vision of himself and the situation.Anyone who is self-assured, is not afraid of problems and intractable problems, be able to defend their beliefs and courageous enough to recognize their limitations and errors.
Most people are competent in a particular area of life and at the same time ways to recognize that a little versed in other areas.A realistic view of themselves, their strengths and weaknesses to avoid reckless actions or rash.Confident people are not afraid of risk difficult task, it's not paralyzing anxiety and fear at the thought of what he needs to do.
On the other hand, insecure people are afraid of change and uncertainty, can not stand up for their beliefs and panic are afraid to be in an awkward situation, to appear in a ridiculous light.Self-doubt - a distrust of self, doubt in their abilities.Sometimes a lack of confidence is due to past failures, and sometimes it has no reasonable grounds: the person simply "feels" that he had something to fail.
Causes of insecurity
Many factors influence the formation of self-confidence, but often has a decisive influence parents' attitudes.It is the perception of the child's parents becomes the basis for self-esteem and seeing a child himself, especially in the first years of life.When parents support the child, take his choice and promote independence, he has formed a solid foundation for positive attitudes towards themselves and others, self-confidence.The child just thinks: "If Mom and Dad love me, so I'm good."Accordingly, if one or both parents are too critical of the child or overly demanding of him if suppress his desire for independence, do not believe in his strength, or think that it is worse than other children, it does not contribute to the formation of a child's self-esteem.The child thinks, "If Mom and Dad do not like me, then, I'm bad."If the parents will be more likely to show their love for the child and support him, even when he makes mistakes, the child learn to love yourself for who he is, and will be on the development of self-confidence.
Oddly enough, but lack of confidence is not always justified, and does not necessarily mean lack of ability.Low self-esteem - it is rather a consequence of excessive, unrealistic expectations or standards of other people whose opinion is important for a child (first and foremost, of course, parents).Influence of friends and companies to present themselves on the person may be less than, or even stronger than the influence of parents and the community.
What is a healthy self-esteem?
It is simply self-love.Healthy self-esteem does not depend on success, as in the life of even the most successful person is bound to have setbacks and defeats.Healthy self-esteem is not a result of comparing yourself to others, because there is always someone better.Healthy self-esteem means that we love ourselves for who we are and not for what we can or can not be.
low self-esteem and self-doubt - it is a springboard to bad habits Bad habits - second nature? and difficulties of life.Although insecure people are often aware of their problem, it is very difficult to change themselves, especially if they do not find the root of all evils - low self-esteem, and begin to fight it.
frustrated and worry about failure - quite naturally
Moreover, it is a healthy response to stress How to beat stress?Create an oasis .Much worse, if failures leave us indifferent.The negative experience helps us to understand what is happening and to make conclusions: it is possible to change?If you can not change anything, a constructive solution can be found?Unfortunately, in the distorting mirror of low self-esteem and self-doubt events often appear in quite a different light, and even the smallest trouble can trigger melancholy, sadness and depression, and a healthy anger turns into an uncontrollable rage.The more negative our emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code , the more they affect our ability to think clearly, and the less likely structural changes.