Secrets of appeal - Do not compare yourself with Miss World


Secrets appeal Avoid meaningless comparisons.Train yourself to think of professional beauties like the incarnation of the achievements of modern beauty industry (or genetic abnormalities).Never compare yourself to them - the comparison would not be in your favor.Also, do not forget that your ideals are likely to also unhappy with their appearance, and comparing themselves with other beauties.And too upset."I never considered myself a beauty, - says Carol Alt, popular in the 1980s supermodel.- Always attractive girls were me that were in the room and all eyes immediately rushed to them.My God, you just remember Nicolette Sheridan - this is beautiful! »

Think about your environment

« It is human nature to look at themselves through the eyes of others - sure Ellen McGrath, a psychologist and president of the Institute Advisory The Bridge.- People surrounding us significantly affect the perception of our own appearance.If we receive from childhood to love and care for others, accustomed to see themselves in the best light, as if the soft candlelight romantic dinner.But if our loved ones are critical and constantly strive to give us the truth about our appearance, we gradually assimilating this relationship and consider its reflection in the mirror is particularly meticulously, constantly looking for weaknesses.If you are accustomed to consider themselves unattractive, consider whether the guilt of your relatives and friends. "

Do not focus on yourself!

modest and shy people are constantly comparing themselves with others, and believe that in this comparison they lose."Fixated on themselves, people tend to evaluate their appearance unduly critical, - says Bernie Carducci, a psychology professor at Indiana University.- If you force yourself to think more about others and force them to look for your location, your own fears and uncertainty reduced.Said at a party with friends - and you will automatically look more attractive.This kind of social capital - he gives others to understand that you have a leader, you are an interesting person and you need to make friends. "

Think of the body as an instrument

your body - or static object in constant motion and development mechanism?"Women are more concerned with how their body looks, while men are more concerned with its function, not appearance, quite naturally, - said Stephen Franzoi, a psychology professor at the University of Marquette.- If you think of the body as an instrument, you can learn to perceive it as something that is capable of change and transformation.This active position gives authority over his own body to you, and not others, who estimates his side. "

Alter inside

Beware of criticizing himself, his appearance and actions, especially in front of others."Replace criticism with compliments Compliments and their meaning: do not mistake the words Compliments and their meaning: do not mistake the words , for example, instead of saying" my disgusting fat thighs ", say" my strong muscular legs "- advises Professor Emeritus of the University of Vermont James Rosen.- Take time to ponder and other aspects of your image that are forming themselves in others.Think about what you like in your friends - perhaps they appreciate your loyalty and professional competence, and maybe they are attracted to your spontaneity and kindness?Ultimately, these qualities are more important than any external beauty, which, besides, will disappear over time. "

Cultivate your uniqueness

Carducci, very shy guy, seriously working to overcome this disadvantage, trying to be not only the most pleasant guy in the room, but also the most stylish "My style - half GQ, half flea market.One of the most favorite outfit - yellow cotton shirt, a red tie with a geometric pattern, leather shoes and coats in gray, "Christmas tree".His suit, I want to say to others: "Here I am, let's have fun!" When you wear cool and unusual clothes reflect your attitude, others more easily find a common language with you - it's not a beauty, but rather openness and predisposition to dialogue".

The older, the more attractive

We are all afraid of old age, but science has proved that with age we become more attractive!"Mature women more confident - says Leslie Goldman, author of the book" Diary of the locker room »(Locker Room Diaries) - a collection of long-term observations of the women in the gym.- I've never seen a woman older than 60 flies into the bathroom to change clothes until they came the rest, or looking around warily, before dropping a towel after a shower. "

Beauty - not a panacea for the ills

Statistics confirm that looks attractive people not a whit happier than their less attractive peers.Makes us happy is not the beauty and optimism, hope, love, friendship, acceptance, and finding purpose in life."Do not get me wrong, I did not grumble at fate - I was also a high point, and beauty has helped me a lot to achieve, - says Carol Alt.- But I also got in life.I experienced a hard divorce, the death of his father and brother.I do not think that fate depends on appearance and beauties live no better. "