How to survive a divorce and do not get depression
For most people, divorce is a very difficult experience.End in meaningful relationships, familiar life and all the roads that were connected with it, it becomes the past - and it is expensive it is often what gives a person a sense of stability and confidence in the most difficult situations.Therefore, divorce, like any other dramatic changes associated with tremendous stress How to beat stress?Create an oasis - so huge that it seems he can break you.In fact, it can make you stronger and wiser - it all depends on what you are going to do with this situation.
fear, anxiety, guilt, frustration, anger, loneliness, hatred - this is only part of the spectrum of emotions with which a person lives during the divorce.Many women are very afraid that once again left alone and always will be.Men are often afraid of the same thing.You can recall episodes of his long and painful search for relationships that you did not.When the pain subsides, and you gradually come back to life, the memories suddenly come back with such force that it seems impossible to survive it - pain has mazes, in which a person is faced with grief, can go a very long time.Do not forbid yourself to feel it all.Do not try to pretend that you are a little worried about what is happening.
Mountain - a normal human reaction (not only) for the loss.This is not just an emotion Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code , a complex process that occurs in different ways in all people.When a loved one says that leaves for good, someone from the shock could not say a word, someone goes into a rage, someone cries and begs to stay, someone silently puts the suitcase out the door.No medium term, during which the mountain must pass.Its symptoms - not a sign of weakness but a sign that you are struggling with stress.(Think about the physical illnesses. Often, knocking temperature artificially we slow down the healing process. The body needs a few days of sickness and temperatures above 38C to drive the disease. Simply put, something similar is happening with the psyche. Artificially suppressing grief, you get rid of itlonger than if temporarily give him the will).
How to cope with the emotions
Life does not stop when someone is sick, or she would stand on the site all the time.You probably have a job, bills and many cases which appeared together with the status of a free woman (to find an apartment, furnish it, connect online, report a change of address to the bank and other institutions, and so on).All this may seem a source of additional stress, but things can be a wonderful way to escape from personal experiences.
- not take a long time off work, even if they understand the bosses do not mind.Working duties well will help to distract from the negative thoughts.
- Remove old photos and everything that recalls the past of family life, as far as possible.Buy new clothes, make different hairstyle.If you've ever painted nails in pink and red colors, buy a blue or green paint.The point, of course, not in color nails, and in the signals your mind about that now everything is different, and you go forward.
- talk about it.Very few people can grieve alone and without adverse effects on the psyche.Communicate with your loved ones, sharing with them all that feel and think.Do not be afraid to hurt them, talking about their pain.They are happy that they can help you, just to be listened to.If, after talking to people you do not get easier to find a support group going through a divorce, or go to a psychologist.If you choose the last option - do not start to consult with first got a psychologist.Go to a trial consultation to several specialists and choose the one who called you in the greatest confidence.If you do not like a psychologist, counseling him not go in your favor.
- look after themselves.Often after a divorce a woman at any time stop going to the gym, start at less carefully painted and select clothes.Do it for yourself, and just because your relationship with yourself should not depend on what you are wearing or free status of a married woman.
Depression often occurs due to the fact that divorce inevitably changes your life determines your newstatus, hanging the label "divorced" or "single" (again).After the divorce, associates perceive you differently.Some women find it difficult to find the strength to start a new, independent life.Simple everyday things you used to do with the (former) husband - for example, a shopping trip - can serve more than a reminder of the drama experienced.Surviving divorce is much more tricky than it seemed in the beginning.
If adults can come to terms with the divorce, the children about the separation of parents is better to learn gradually.After the divorce, it is difficult to get used to the fact that you can not talk about children with her husband, as has happened before.You probably will miss the joys of such small family picnic under a tree or a Sunday dinner, and you will think about what will never be ("what if ...") to the end of life.To avoid this, learn how to survive divorce and to get out of this unpleasant situation with minimal losses.
Life goes on?
best way to heal a broken heart and go through a divorce - not to dwell on what happened and continue to live.It often happens that family life does not leave time for interesting activities, such as the passages in the cinema or theater, reading.Try to positively evaluate their new position and think about that now you will have the time and opportunity to realize the long-cherished wish, without thinking about how to react to this (former) husband.Therefore, after the divorce, many childless women do not return to their parents and begin an independent life and are committed to what always dreamed of.
Yes, if you do not have children, why not move to another city?This is a sure way to leave behind all the problems, because the case will periodically push your ex-husband, if you live in one (especially small) town.Surviving divorce makes the vacation of your dreams - a sea cruise, a trip to Europe or a trip to an exotic foreign lands.Now, when you are free, it is time to carry out long-held dream.
Divorce is unpleasant, but it's not a death sentence, but rather a ticket to a new life, in which you'll be fine, free and happy.No wonder so many mature people after divorce is no longer married and happily lead a bachelor life.
How to survive a divorce: a few tips
Engage in volunteer work, become a member of a club, get a new hobby (to learn to paint, play golf, write a book, become a regular at karaokebar, get a dog or a neighbor's dog to walk, etc.) - that is,find employment that would give all the power, an occupation that will amuse you and lift your spirits.Find an activity that will raise your self-esteem and help to forget about the divorce.
gradually forget about the ex-husband, as if it had never existed.
Repeat: "I am self-sufficient free woman.I deserve much.I - a strong personality, and I will achieve everything you want. "
for recovery will take time, so do not rush.
If you are lonely burden, and you are constantly in my thoughts return to married life, try to spend more time in the company of friends, or even strangers, for example, a walk in the park, shopping and exhibitions.
In no case were not locked within the four walls.When a wave of despair rolled forward, call a friend and invite her to a cafe for a cup of coffee.It is better to discuss with his former girlfriend, than endlessly worry alone.
If, in spite of all the efforts, you feel cornered, do not hesitate to seek help from a therapist, family doctor, or sign up for group therapy.Failure to return to normal life - a problem that could get worse with time, moreover, it is possible, your state has a medical reason, and thus amenable to drug treatment.